chill pufffffffff

milestone

2010-01-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

im feeling real great when i reach home always and see ashton smiling so sweetly, tryna cling ont me so badly and if i step int the house w/o acknowledging him, he will cry and scream like i just chop his dick -.-'' Thou at times, his cries are very noisy and irritating (always dont know how t choose timing) but its really so nice and sexy most of the times. Its feeling really good cos he shows how impt imma t him and it really pays all my hard work. Just magically great deep down inside & now, just few days back he claps his hands. I swear its uber cute !!!!!! Prolly becos since birth i keep singing nursery rhymes and as he grows older i make him see how i perform clapping and stomping :) Then now, he can recognise whats that when i sing '' if you happy and you know you clap your hands'' CLAP! CLAP! and he will clap :) idk why but only when i sing or ask him t clap, he like uber high. lol
I S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y LOVE THIS SON VERY MUCH. ! & now, im waiting for mac again. omfg,tsk.

happy 2010

2010-01-03T01:11:00.002+08:00

Brought ashton t marina square t shop for his feeding high chair, in the end no stock and bought many rubbish back -.-'' Keep saying wanna buy him things but in the end i think it seems like for myself. lol :x spend almost 2 hours editing my blog, thou of changing URL as its kinda very long, so now i took away the 'takea' lol, i know its very really uber lame :D my eyes shutting any moment and my butt is giving way cos the darn chair is f hard.

:)

2009-12-30T17:31:00.000+08:00

new year's around the corner !! :D ashton turning 9 months ! Im gonna have a long weekend off dayssss and im gonna be real broke very soon. I wanna simplify my blog, but im just so lazy t start cos i know i wont finish on time as im gonna fetch ashton really soon and im feeling so nua. Gonna get him a high chair tmr and im cursing myself not t spend any other things. Cant control myself especially eyeing on things for him, bought another 4 mini toddler boxers for him today (hands itchy). When i flip back those pages of my organiser, i realised 80% of my money goes t him & now the whole big half of his cupboard are new clothings and some keep until now toooo small -.-'' ! & outta the 80% of money , 20% is spend on cab fare. Omfg! idk why i cant force myself t wake up earlier every morning. god darn me &@%@^#&!&*@&@3

instinct

2009-12-23T22:12:00.003+08:00

im pretty irritated by humilations, not impact on me but ppl around. I just cant f understand why ?????? Maybe thats not the right term t use, but i cant think of anything better. Ashton's been a lil naughty boy recently, he's being really hyper-active & i mean really !!! Getting heavier each day that my arms ache after every goodbye from infant care. Rushing like a mad women everyday cos im always late ~ :(
Point fingers t ashton cos he always wants me t entertain him till wweeee hours at night and can wake up like every spilt second. Im turning really zombie !!! Thank god he's asleep and can you imagine his caregiver praised him for sleeping 2 hours today which is totally normal you can find in most of the babies. He crawls and climbs every corner he can reached for, touches and takes everything he eye for and the best part is he can sleep with his eyes shut and smile at everything he hears and opened his eyes at the slightest thing you could ever hear -.-'' awesome :) i guess he's learning t clap his hands now but it seems it ended up always punching his own tummy. lol

Santa's coming and i wish that you can take good care of my lil boy !!

ps: if imma allow t greed for another, i pray you could take away those tears my girlfriend(s) shed.

:)

2009-12-11T12:43:00.004+08:00

very moody now, but when i switched on the com and see ashton pictures. omfg, i cant stop smiling t myself like one retarded. Brought ashton t bay spa on wed, he dint cry at all and dear was saying he cfm wont cry one cos he loves water like dont know what. He like stoned stoned cos the whole night only sleep like 5 hours, keep waking up and cry. Then he managed t bear inside the tub for 30 mins, and start screaming. lol, will bring him soon again prolly next week :) im gonna sort my pictures cos its all over the place all over the folders, im fu*king unorganised and i bloody always use ashton's making me worn out as an excuse. LOL @!! & now, i feel like lazing ard. I still have like 100 pictures yet t upload but im just so NOT-motivated t do so despite him being soooo lovely. i think the problem lies with me not ashton -.-'' i yet t update nana's wedding, yet t update our outing ............... & still, BYE !!!!

my motivation

2009-11-20T14:04:00.004+08:00

i shall and should really share ashton's pictures already. Yuppie ! fever subsided but rashes all over body now, some say allergy some say its common t have rashes outbreak after fever. hmmmmm ~ ok.

2009-11-20T13:47:00.002+08:00

u're still at your lovely 21! cherish it!! once its gone it will b gone! A lovely long-lost friend just say this t me. Somehow or rather, it really seems pathetic when someone living so apart from you still cares about you and someone so near never seems t even bother. Its also glad that at least there's still people who's around making me feel less pathetic & its pretty contradicting here. Sighs, im just toooooo bored for anything and can the rain stop pouring??? its making me drownsy -.-''

happy 21st

2009-11-19T09:52:00.005+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T MYSELF ! :) i seriously hope it will be a better year for me. no special wish anymore, just hoping that my dear lil son will grow well and healthy & i think thats what make a mom, everything now is diverted t lil precious.
& ashton's fever subsided, i hope it will cont this way. He's now growing his 3,4,5 upper tooth tgt. Omg he have a total of 5 teeth, infant caregivers say that its a bit toooo fast for him, as he got he both lower tooth when he was almost 5 months, and now just 7 months going t have 55555555555555555 !!!! The wonder he's been rather cranky and fever just doesnt wanna shoooooooo away from him. Thank god, it was better ytd, maybe because my birthday. hahaha lol !

betrayed

2009-11-12T12:50:00.003+08:00

The hurt you brought t me this time is really unbearable, im not sure if i can live with you from now?! How can you be so heartless and selfish t only think for yourself when you took away something i cherish so mucha & what did you do with that? I still cant accept the fact till now, Im really worn out, by all those everything that's happening. I cant please everybody and im trying really hard thou. I feel so heavy, burden and pathetic. Who should i turn t? Piles and piles of problems came searching for me, i cant think of anything now. My brain's really trying very hard t push me throu all these hard times, but over and over again, you made my heart pronounced dead with all these impact you created for me. You nver realised how mucha you made me look like a fool, idiotic when i was so dumb t believe you. Oh pls, destroy my soul but not my pride
:( infant care just called and informed that ashton's running a fever, sighs. I think im giving way real soon. I dont wish for good things everytime, but why always things happen that is worrying, disappointing and i have t really take a deep breathe, swallow my pride and hush myself " stella you will be fine, stand strong! " This routine is making me really sick.

oofffff day :D

2009-11-05T09:16:00.003+08:00

sent ashton t infant as early as every morning. so tired. slept less than 10 hours for the past 2 days. This time round not becos of ashton but its becos of myself cos im toooo into my korean drama. I like the storyline, its much diff from those love stories that we see almost in every one. This features betrayal due t legacy and inheritance. Abandon etc, its just very nice thou.lol, im so eager t watch poker king right away and idk why. HAHAHA, just like and enjoys t watch this kinda gambling show somemore got louis koo. ok, LAME excuse. Argh, pretty bored but if jiejie dont wanna go then i shall cont watching my drama series. Sometimes, i just feel and think why life has t be so contradicting? i know and understand that not all things goes your way but it always seems like the fact is you have t really be strong, not just strong but is really in order t survive. & idk why i got so agitated and started blamed the one who invented money in the world, but on the other hand there's so mucha t thanks him. Many tried so hard pulling throu hard times and some have so much but dont knows how t treasure, dont understands what's precious and what's lost might nvr come back. Aiya, idk why im tryna explain this ridiculous topic but the feeling of watching the korean drama just lead me here & of cos some matters which makes me feel this way too. Isnt any way t survive w/o money. Sighs, im so worried for yall. Pls no matter what you must not do anything silly, live goes on and after those F. hard times, the rain will still shine. I love yall more than anything. Stand strong, nothing is easy in life as this will allow people t learn and grow cos humans have this F bad habit t take easy things for granted. OK, dear just went prawning which means i will have nice prawns later :) 21st birthday is coming but why imma feeling soooooooooo down ? yawns.

2009-10-31T02:04:00.003+08:00

i cant sleep and this timing is really !!! turned and talked t dear but he hmm uhhh then slient and snored, so bored. Its been raining cats and dogs the whole afternoon and now started raining again. Ashton's sleeping and i gottta the urge t disturb him becos i cant sleep, hold his hand kissed him so many times no reaction. The weather toooo nice alrdy, but i think if he wakes up. I wanna sleep, lol ! :D Conclusion is, im real bored. Rushed t SSDC this afternoon and luckily i got back on time for work and im being really absent minded that i cant bring ashton t infant care and brought he back along with me t work. Luckily all the way i have been praticing kia-su so he got many extra sets of towel and uniform there for him t change into. Last minute desicion, happy t say that luckily my advanced haven expired but sad t know that im only left with 3months t pass, if not must retake final theory im sure t lost the motivation. ARGH, if only ashton came 2 months later i think im already a class 3 holder. kia-si, scare the TP on 25/09/08 fail then waste money then choose t wait. Now have t rush like mad. Find instructor until will die :( Why advanced only can last for 2 years ??? & wth am i still typing like one ???!! my mind and brain cant coordinate this timing. lol tmr cant wake up or feel very tired better dont kpkb. stupid pattern so bye ~
anyway, HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNI BABY, thou its already 10days late but being late is better than never.

oh dear

2009-10-26T16:30:00.002+08:00

idk how i develop the feel t change my skin and i used 2 hours editing everything & now i lost the urge t post all ton's photos cos i intended t sleep and now i wasted my noon facing the com, clicking the mouse, copying and pasting HTML codes. My eyes nearly gave way. In another 30 mins im gonna take ton back from infant care and yesssssssssss, cfm no beauty rest. ok, drop dead now :S

i think

2009-10-26T13:12:00.004+08:00

i think its really time i should come and update, since im free and i only have t work at 7pm. I have lotsa pictures nowwwwwww. 1st, maybe i should share my first time cooking for tonton. This is how it looks like, lol and when i see him eating and sucking. omfg, the feeling is really motherly + shiock. :D
Boil the ikan bilis soup as the shang tang. haha, act one shang tang siol. whatever, keep boiling and watching the fire with tonton screaming can die, really die. Carry him and stir the soup his hands wanna go touch the pot. cold sweat + hot sweat every now and then but why still haven slim ?!!!!! #&@#%^@%#^@ next post ltr. HAHA!

PS: this picture is taken 3weeks ago. rofl

2009-10-02T17:29:00.002+08:00

Ashton's new toy. Went t malaysia on Wed and bought many stuffs, needa head for lil's infant care soon. Just pray that he recovers asap, i dread t see him sick :( no energy and soft cries really breaks my heart.

bottom-line: im uber lazy t update or do anything now cos im worn out by the constant activties of nursing ashton

2009-09-16T11:32:00.004+08:00

im soon leaving for party world and crystal jade, while waiting for that superb ttttuuuuu jiejie i decided t blog. ahah, cos i did mentioned that i wanna post bout my trip t the baby fair but its been 2 weeks already and im still tryna complain how lazy imma. ok, ashton's growing his first tooth and this is really cool cos he's being really cranky and hard t handle. soon, he will be turning 6 months. ahha, my first attempt t feed his solid passed, he sucked the feeding spoon sooooo hard and fast & when i take outta the spoon, he screamed like i dig his ass. lol , ok i know its not the very right term t use on my beloved. what a mother ~ oh yea, and ashton pee on my bed and thats how it looked. i bought his clothings and went back t changed cos its toooooo small and went back t change 18-24 months. omg my fat baby. i swear maybe he gotta my genes. shit, i really dont like t admit this. ok, jiejie's beside me and dear just un-hooked my ... ccb, im gonna stab his .... :S

2009-08-29T17:53:00.004+08:00

while waiting for the video t get itself uploaded, i think i shall update how ashton had been recently. All i can ever think is he can be a really loud baby, be it crying or playing! i swear he is. I gotta few videos of him screaming but i dont have enough time t upload all now as im will be rushing t work in about 15mins. Hahaha, tmr will be off day so i think i might be free if mj sessions dont take away me. lol -.-'' ton ton is not really feeling well these few days, he's suffering from blocked nose and he is really very 'yang orh' abit abit cannot, abit abit wake up. Its been extreming tiring t take care of him these recent nights. But the weird thing is, he can still play and scream like one kind. & i cant help t shake head, cos while screaming, his nose is partially blocked. I wonder ~ One very exciting thing is he's gonna get introduced t baby solids. hahah, im so eager for it t come, and now he can sit w/o supporting his head for prolly 10-20 seconds on my lap. haha, still he eats and sucks his hands like nobody business until almost the whole fist can hide inside his mouth. Sometimes he has t hit 200ml of milk before he can sleep soundly for 3-4 hours. omfg, he gotta really big belly :) Brought him t see my doc and doc said he's having slight infection. i think becos this like boy screams too mucha. ps: idk if i hold my phone t near t him thus making the scream abit hoarse or if its becos he screamed far tooo long like almost 1 hour like that non-stop that made his voice hoarse. lol ~

2009-08-22T23:27:00.004+08:00

i think my blog is kinda growing fungas alrdy. Been really busy with hard core mj session in the afternoon recently and when i back with ashton from his infant care, im almost 3/4 dead. haha, My lil pui bom bom is screaming far toooooo mucha and sharp recently. idk why he likes t do that? but its making the whole family laugh like F! haha, He's having kinda stuffy nose now and i hope the irritating shit can be cleared asap. Im been developing int a uber light sleeper that i can wake up far tooooo many times in the middle of the night that i get annoyed t even wanna shut my eyes. Ashton's far toooo bright cos he will only remain as good as he can be when he sleeps beside me. Omfg, & he's my daily alarm that rings off at 7am. Oh my pretty lil baby, mama only nnneeeedddddssss t wake up at 7.50am. :(((((((
black eyes rings made me haggard la f shit ! $@^&*#^*&@$%^#&

&&&&& ps: thanks t the passerby that noticed my dumb error. hahahah :DDDD
i needa upload pics asap, but i wanna catch my drama series. lol
e-x-c-u-s-e-s !

2009-08-07T17:09:00.003+08:00

seriously i wanna blog but i dont know what t blog about, so i just log in t post some nice pics of ashton. haha. happy belated 4 months my son!!! Ashton's really cute. idk why, but i just feel very motherly now! I cant wait t pick him up now. Father in law ask me why i nvr put ashton t his playpen t sleep? then i answered him, i dont wanna ! i wanna carry him cos i dint see him the entire day ytd cos im on full shift. lol, found a new pattern t make him smile. haha, He really can baby talk so much. &&& he smells soooo nice! He's offically 3/4 botak now. left the front part nvr shake -.-'' so young wanna be stylo small potato. OOOOKKK !! did i mention idk whatta blog and now, im almost hitting 10 lines. When i start t say bout this son of mine, i think can publish one compo liao. So long since compo-sition came visiting me. haha, lol! brought him t SSC that day, & he cant stop screaming tryna seek attention. lol, scream then lol t himself -.-'' All the aunties came surrounding him and talk t him, best part is he can baby talk back. Ah goooo, gaaaa gooo gaaaa :)

2009-08-03T07:34:00.003+08:00

im feeling so so so tired right now. internally. why?? why do this t me? endless stress you led me int. im almost tears. i just ran outta way t ease myself now.

2009-07-29T13:05:00.002+08:00

working full shift today, im just so eager t settle down for off day tmr. i wanna do so many things so i hope that doc can gimme my pay prolly ltr in the a-f-t-e-r-n-o-o-n plssssssssss ! hahaha. i miss my girl(s) like many many. & i dint visit ashton today. haha, he's my heavy baby. outta breathe when i carry him t infant care today.

my lil love

2009-07-28T14:39:00.002+08:00

2009-07-28T14:26:00.003+08:00

just got myself back from work, feeling darn shag. im gonna take a short nap soon. Ashton's growing really well, and i bet he could recognise his mommy alrdy. Popped by his infant care and when he sees me he get very excited. When i say i wanna leave, then he will kick and cry. For both days, ytd and today he's been like that. haha, he will do the ''mama, i wana you carry me'' face. But too bad, i dont wanna get close t him cos i haven bath after work. I think its really impt t make sure im all bathe and changed int a new set of clothes before i carry him. Better play safe then t be sorry. See him do the face, my heart sanked. Aiyoyo ashton uhhh !!! i think i better lessen my trips there, if not the teachers sure wanna scold me inside. Everytime go see him then make him cry, hhaaa. make their life su-sa laaaa. ahha. Clinic got so many patients everyday, make me sooooo tiring. sighs, all like t come last min somemore! So many things t do, file cards, refill medicine, refill syrup, cleaning. Can die la, seriousssslllllyyyy. oh yea, i needa remind myself t trim ashton's nail. He got tooooo excited just now, and scratched his small lil nose and bleed loh =( surely very pain, imagine see mommy but cant be carried. sighs, poor ashton. Shall restrict myself from seeing him during lunch breaks + i got many pics t upload but im just sooooo lazy

wedding shots

2009-07-23T13:16:00.006+08:00

PS : lol, i took almost a year t get this uploaded. R-E-A-L-L-Y L-A-Z-Y like what only. haha

2009-07-23T12:56:00.003+08:00

home sweet home, back t my niang hse like soooooooooooooooo shiock. haha, idk why but just shiock. today's plan is kinda rushy and im unable t go and see ashton as im working full. I gotta make sure i get myself sanitized before i go close t him, as now the govt step down in those safety precautions and channel 5 reminds t stay vigilance anytime anywhere. lol, nowadays clinic got soooo many patients one sia. almost all high fever, cough, runny nose, sore throat. Aiyoyo. its all getting int the community like rocket & ytd news pronounced 2 dead. Just few days back, was talking rubbish with jiejie, she said this is all K-A-R-M-A. lol (must turn vegetarian, shave head, turn nun) haha, so bored. Feedbacks from ashton's infant care. He's talkative, he likes t smile alot & he plays with himself alot. He always sucks his milk soooo fast and hard and ends up getting choke -.-'' lemme share how my lil is doing now. hahaa & im gonna upload some wedding photo shots cos since im home cos the disc had been left here t rot. haha.
&&&&& before i create another post for photosssssssss

Ashton's
- 3 months, 2 weeks and 3 days old
- he can almost flip
- he sleeps with his eyes half opened
- he often dreams and can lol in the middle of the night
- he thinks that he's drinking milk even at sleep, cos he can make the sucking sound so loud, followed by sucking his fingers, hands.
- he can laugh really loud ( shall upload the video asap)
- he likes t play, and you cant walk away in the middle of playing, he will scream
- he drinks 140ml 3 t 4 hourly
- he baby talk alot alot alot
- he will mmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmm when shitting. haahha
- he weights almost 6.5kg
- he likes t sit in his rocker

for all that i could think of =)

hate

2009-07-20T17:39:00.003+08:00

stop doing this t me !!! fuck, its not as if i went outside doing anything behind your back. pls, i dont deserve this treatment. i hate you soooo much. i dont wanna talk t you, i dont wanna see you. its just so much you kill me inside.you're sucha mo-fo la ok. happily enjoying yourself not doing any good deeds. seeing + leaving me t die alone with all. mo-fo is just mo-fo. just rot t death, i swear i wont shed a f tear. nothing can ease me now, just getting so outta hand.

i cant feel myself anymore :(

2009-07-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

tonight will be the night that i'll fall for you, over again

2009-07-16T18:15:00.004+08:00

i just brought lil ashton back from his infant care, he's so cute la playing with himself and laughing. Those caregivers liked him alot and feedback that he's good t handle and like t smile alot. lol :) i think i needa a wishlist soon t get things organised. gonna head t kiddy palace tmr t get his feeding bottle for water. throwed 3 avent bottles away cos alrdy 3 months. Still thinking if i should get avent or piyo piyo for him?? cos i only needa smallest one. Off day is really fulfiling for me today. HAHAHAHAH !! ashton's getting fatter &&&&&&&&& cuter :}

sometimes, i wonder why i led myself int sucha state :(

2009-07-10T20:58:00.002+08:00

i've been trying very hard t load the link int my page, but it just doesnt work & this means, try harder next time. wtf, been reloading, copy paste like 74663863 times laaaaa. Just wanna try out something new. ok, nvm just cont trying harder tmr then. Ashton's asleep in his rocker but i aint gonna wake him up cos rock rock rock and roll more shiock for him. Poor him no chance t sleep in his beloved yao lan anymore, confiscated and brought t dear's ah gong house for him t put his leg int it and do some light exercise. lol, idea right? cos he's over 100 years of age and he had a fall i think last weekend, so da yi thou of this t let him exercise his leg, cos no strength alrdy ma. Sighs, im so darn holy shit sad and pestered by the thous of dear really needing t look for a job :( he went for an interview last week, actually can, then failed cos of some certain reasonsssss and omfg. Worries came overwhelming again. shitass. jiejie is really a mj addict, she's been playing like almost every night after she ends work & sleeps like 3-4 am and wakes up like 9am. i think she's gonna take mc soon :x lol, im just dead bored now, i need someone t light up my life and the only one i can think of now is ashton. i needa shed kilo(s) asap la fat pig, yay! nana is coming over tmr t look for me. Im so excited and im sure she's gonna call me fatty! shit la, im mustttttttttt skip dinner tonight, but dear's gonns steam fish &&&&&&& justin and sherald's coming up and they are buying me sesame chicken. :( welcome fats, will send you offffffff tmr.

if only you could see

2009-07-09T13:06:00.002+08:00

ashton is really lovely, i kinda sneaked outta with ah jie for mj last night. To be exact i wasnt the one playing i just wanna go out for some fresh air, be it just a few minutes or so. just finding space for some relaxing moments. lol. (aint excuse ok!!) oh yea, was saying bout ashton. why did i mention lovely was becos the moment i went outta house he started crying non-stop. No chioce that i have t rush home cos love phoned a couple of times saying that he cant handle and your son uh keep crying laaaa -.-'' the best part was i only went out for less than an hour or so. *faint
nvm, no chioce and i cab home asap but the nets machine of the taxi couldnt be detected idk from where and the uncle tried like 3 times. No choice again,he fetched me t the nearest atm t withdraw cash and the meter continued. omfg, thats like innocent money la. almost 8 bucks for less than 2km + midnight charges. how sad. i heard ashton's venting his fustrations while walking home from the lift, i sweared when he's really unhappy. omfg, the whole house can wake up!!!!! faster rushed home then when he saw me, he stopped whinning and screaming and gave a light smile t me. buden i was very sticky, so i needa bath before i can carry him. when i walk int the room, he start his engine again. then i come out preparing myself t bath, he stopped again when he sees me. Walked int the kitchen, start engine again. alamak. but thats really heart-warming, cos he recognises hisssss mummmmyyyyyy !!!!!!!! hahaha , ok. he gonna scream soon. bye

2009-07-07T16:48:00.005+08:00

ton ton is sleeping in his play pen now. cos the aunty who's gonna take care of him ask me not t let him sleep in the yao lan anymore if not he's gonna suffer cos it will be hard for him as there isnt any yao lan there. Sadly, i went t register him and make those necessary perparation. He gotta a size 'M' and its like just nice for him, cos thats for 6 months and above, ALAMAK LA ! then i stayed there for a while t see how things work there and i happened t come across this 2 months prolly 2 weeks baby. She cried so badly and care wasnt really attended t her as they wanna train her t sleep on the mattress. Same thing, she sleeps yao lan at home ok! so, im afraid ashton will encounter the same problems so im training him for playpen now. At least if he screams, im here. If not, let say similar incident happens, i think ashton will cry and scream until sore throat la. i swear, he can cry 3 times louder than the lil babygirl. poor thing, cry so long. i think she's really miserable :( gotta urge t just hug her and cuddle her t sleep. aiyoyo. Let's keep my fingers crossed this dont come t ashton. oh ya, went t causeway ytd and brought ashton for shoppppinngggggggggg, with sherald and jiejie. Omfg, i swear kiddy palace is a place for me t avoid. Once i entered, im sure t spend laaaaaaaaaaaa. A-L-W-A-Y-S !!!! had sakae for lunch and when the food haven even come ashton cried for milk & im starving like wtf. no choice, he's my first place. haha, i wanna post his pics nowwwwwwwww cos its really awwwhh !!!!!

love is irritating me non-stop. tickling and grumbling. bye, im gonna seek revenge.
^%#^@&#^&@^$&^&*@%$

videos

2009-07-05T18:00:00.003+08:00

p/s: HE'S HAVING HICCUPS LAAAAA & still wanna play

- ashton like people talking t him
- he will scream if you walk away halfway
- he just likes t be entertained :)

stingy

2009-07-05T16:30:00.006+08:00

& see how he sleep. idk how he can put his leg out. omg

&& its 6 months clothing la, now soooo tight. lil fat fat!

the first set of clothes i bought for him when he's only 3 months in my tummy. haha.doc says 99% BOY, but i die die dont believe. so i bought unisex. lol

back from shower, haha. lemme think of where is the nicest part t start with?? OK, ashton can poo already, this is the best part cos it really lessen my worries! i have a couple of videos of him talking and wanting t play. shall upload ltr after this post. ASHTON'S TURNING 3 MONTHS TMR !!!! and im bringing him for his 1st dose of polio sabin(oral). I hope fever wont come visiting him then :) Time really flies, and im heading back t work after next week, long rest of 4 months at home, 16 weeks t be exact and i aint growing thinner after sooo much physical + mental stressss .omfg, i really needa shed many kilo(s) before i can fit myself back int those old clothings. nana says this can never be achieved by me ok, how bad uh! :(
forgive my random-ness cos im trying very hard t recall what i wanna blog here, facebook ate up most of my time with all the new invites of games la, and i always give a miss t blogger cos im just so lazy. hahahaha. Prepared most of the things that are supposed t be for ashton infant's care. Im heading t make payment tmr after his injection cos i just recieved his baby bonus card #2 and the pin number. The first one isnt gonna stay vaild anymore cos i only recieved the card but not the pin and i cant use. wth la, luckily i made a trip t the bank if not, i think ashton isnt gonna get a place in the infant care. ok, talking bout numbersssss, im getting really annoyed and heartache la. Our marriage registered number opened twice first prize in less than 2 months. WTFFFFFF ! and both times i dint buy cos i wanna save money. &&&& its farking alot of money you know ! LIKE ONE YEAR PAY LAAAAAA ! gosh! i just feel like killing myself and bang my head against the wall till i faint. wanna save what save?? in the end, lose moreeeeeeeeeee ! ok, my fault :( stingy fellow.

time lacked

2009-07-05T15:57:00.002+08:00

the rock uh ashton ???
see how he sleep ?? aiyoyo
haha, im suffering from time lack and time also passes so fast constantly. i think this gonna be kinda long winded post cos i really need t update many a thing(s). lol. but i feel like shitting now & its raining like cats and dogs. lemme assure ashton's sleeping soundly then i proceed t bath and come back. BBBRRRRRRRBBBBBB !!!!

2009-07-03T12:06:00.002+08:00

i kinda miss you and idk why am i feeling this way. haha
bad girl

2009-06-29T17:53:00.002+08:00

i hate waking up every morning fearing the same old darn thing, i hate receiving the same old treatment here and there. Dont tell me i cant understand, i should this and that. History just kept repeating! it sucks t the max when i see things like that, i feel so caught in the middle. why cant you just get things right ??? I cant seems t understand cos its always so sudden and random. I cant wait and wait pinning hopes on how you will change after so many attempts i tried. F ***

2009-06-28T02:12:00.002+08:00

&&&&&&& i realised smth, my blog had been occuiped all about ashton! and thats what makes a mom. ahhahhaa. he's starting t attract my attention straight after milk. omg. he just wants me t cuddle him and make ahh gagaa sounds t hoax him t bed. couple of times when i sing nursery rhymes thousand of timesssssssssss
gosh

2009-06-28T02:09:00.002+08:00

home alone like totally. love isnt coming back tonight. he says he's going for mj then work straight which i truely hope so. OK, im far toooo bored ..........

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Geneology - Family photos

&&&&& i just helped ashton tickled his ass-hole and he managed t poo ! yay !!!!

2009-06-27T19:21:00.007+08:00

home alone today!! Ashton's sleeping lovely & im checking yahoo t gain info about infant becos ashton's consistency in loosing his bowels decreased and im kinda worried. I brought him t see doc twice and was told t change his formula t comfort for the time being, but the big issue is that the formula is very thickkkkk & the tits of the bottle must be changed t a crossed 'X' one in order t provide a smooth flow of milk. buden AVENT doesnt have one, so i went t get a tollyjoy for the time being, but ashton just doesnt suck. then i went t kiddy palace t buy a brand new pigeon bottle with a 'Y' one. The flow is still kinda slow as the formula is really thick, plus once it gets cooled, it will become even thicker & i have t soaked it into a cup of warm water t make it thinner and this brings the problem.

#1. Ashton will definately scream when i remove the bottle from him
#2. It would be kinda difficult t make him suck again after waiting cos he will be straining himself non-stop
#3. He will be very angry and tryna push the bottle away cos its still quite difficult t get the flow

ps:this formula need like more hot water t dissolve, if not the powder will not dissolve well enough and cover the holes so, i decided t poke more holes t enable a better and faster flow & i get problems again !!!!!!!!!! WTF !!!

#4. Increasing the volume of hot water made me t take more time t prepare the milk, and with the pressure of ashton's screams and cries, its really like wtffffff
#5. After stirring hard t dissolve the powder, i need t run it under tap water t cool it down.
#6. Ashton will sucks so hard that all the milk will spilled from his mouth (cos i poked more holes) & he wasnt able t swallow all tgt
.
.
. &&&&&&&&&&&&&& the cycle will repeated from # 1 - 3 ~! pathetic

& THE DOC SAYS ASHTON'S THE 1ST ONE WHO HAS DIFFICULTIES DRINKING THIS FORMULA, DRINK ALREADY STILL NVR POO !!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg. bang wall

better in time

2009-06-21T11:48:00.004+08:00

ok, my brb seems long. hhaaha. i just brought ashton t see my doc cos the baby clinic is closed. Doc says that he's perfectly alright so no medicine is needed but he gave me one for stand-by. Lily was really cute when she cuddle with ashton just now. Full of nonsense from her mouth but she got the seh t carry him, maybe cos she's alrdy a mother of 2. she's nice overall :) should be time that i upload the photos cos its really too much alrdy. i just took some more moments ago. bang wall ! love played with ashton ytd and he smiled non-stop. First time ever that he keep smiling and making those errh arrrh whoooo sounds. uber cute ! but too bad i dint captured any of em cos like past midnight not very nice for photo shots. haha. im waiting for love t come home cos he will have his off day tmr and im able t gain some freedom then :) sunday is my only HAPPY DAY ! ashton slept from 3am last night till like this morning 10am. i nearly got a shock cos its like freaking 7 hours w/o milk but he's like fine. just making noises due t his soaked diapers. i kinda forced him his formula cos im afraid he might feel hungry & now he's back in his lala land. reduced long hours of nursing. taking care of him seems easier now, maybe as he grows older. It will get better in time ! my love

2009-06-20T16:39:00.004+08:00

just a quick update cos i really think ashton is waking up for milk. moma bought all these thingy for lil darl and spend 300 bucks. haha, my plain laziness is gone so im here t upload the pics. lol -.-' the file is kinda big so i think its gonna take some time t load then i shall cont on ytd then, but ashton's making noises t hint mama that he's gonna wake up & im tying like asap but the faster i wanna t rant, the more errors and backspace i pressed. wtf! haha, thou, ah boy dint aeroplaned me last night, she came with mary and stayed for couple of hours and we did some catching up. lol! brought ashton out ytd evening for dinner. No need t be home alone cos mil need t work OT and asked us t go instead. Made ashton wear his new yellow chicken full set cos its really cute. I bought all 3 designs for him. lol. sleeveless one is at my moma's place and luckily i asked if its there if not i will surely buy one more for him and he's wearing 'M' now. the salesgirl says actually its 'S' , but i told her i wanna get a bigger size cos this lil boy is growing like tttttoooooo fast and now fits into 9-12months clothing. dont wanna waste money soooo fast. Now only like 2 months and all his clothes cant wear !! just bought like 10 new sets for him. lol. at first mil say dont buy, now she keep hurrying me t buy cos can see ashton's belly and she scared ltr wind go inside tummy. hahah. i still many t share but ashton is almost screaming. brb!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-18T15:06:00.004+08:00

ive got many things t blog but im just feeling plain lazy. love is playing mj &&&& im waiting for my turn. im lazy t take the cable t link those photos from my cam, im lazy t walk out of the room, im lazy t pour myself a cup of iced ribena. wtf right ? ah boy says she coming tmr ! YAH! she better keep her words, if she dare aeroplane me !!!! home alone tmr night as love's family gonna go for aunt's birthday dinner but i dont wanna bring ashton cos abit susa sia. went kiddy palace ytd with moma and she spend like 300 bucks for ashton, i insisted on paying some, lol. but she said no needdd. i captured a few photos on the input! hahah, satisfying ! moma bought ashton a new rocker which is cool laaaa, and it costed like farking 100 bucks. shall upload if my plain lazy says bye. haha

2009-06-16T18:53:00.003+08:00

ashton cried soooo badly ytd & my heart skip a beat every cry he made.

insane shit

2009-06-14T22:31:00.002+08:00

dont ever gimme insane shit. stop giving those nonsense cos its really irritating me. play your role well t keep my mouth shut, do what you should t make me ease. wtf
thou im feeling a lil piss by what love did, but overall i did enjoyed my day. went partyworld with sherald and more :) quite disappointed cos i couldnt reach my normal standards of those high pitches etc, but it was funny and fun! lol, back home for like almost 2 hours and love isnt back yet since 2pm that he left the house. wtf, he really knows how t irritates me like F ! ashton's making some noise and tryna attract me t carry him againnnnnnnnn ! ok bye

2009-06-12T20:10:00.001+08:00

:(

2009-06-12T11:22:00.003+08:00

sometimes i feel like a bad mother, whenever ashton throws his tantrams and doesnt wanna sleep i will get really fustrated when i dint managed t coax him t bed for a freaking 6-8 hours. thinking back, i really need t apply endurance here! :( feeling very sad when i think back how i vent my fustrations cos im really really really tired. i mean REALLY !!! when i wake up after resting for 3 hours, i cant help but t feel bad, real bad!!! sighs. The last few days was bad, but im learning. mom and mother-in-law suggested that i should start putting ashton in infant care from the start of next month so that i could at least have some rest for a few days before i get my ass back t work, but im sooo reluctant t do so !!!! love woke up with me ytd t help t coax ashton and not so bad cos he managed t do so, then we had quite a long talk and im happy that i managed t talk some things out. i hope things will work out well slowly. I seriously need an ample rest ! if not, i can picture myself collasping straight ! hahaha

2009-06-09T09:07:00.003+08:00

Ashton's almost fast asleep after his formula. Was just chatting with mother-in-law ytd that time actually flies. So fast ashton's outta of my tummy; 2 months alrdy and now im heading back t work. Was thinking back how much i complained i wanna him t come out of my tummy. HAHA, lil love is getting clever or should i say naughty ? giving his formula must be real fast if not he will push the bottle away from his mouth with his mini tiny but strong hands. lol, & he will cry non-stop refusing t drink despite feeling very hungry. The only way t coax him t drink is t carry him and talk t him and shake him until his cries soften. (shake head) sometimes when the weather's freaking hot, this moment can really kill me omfg! less than 2 months can push the bottle away! imagine when he grows older ??? wahaha! i was concluding that his temper really takes after his father, both sooo hot tempered & almost all agreed. lol remembering how shock both our parents got when ashton just got home the first 2 weeks, he can almost turn himself. just that his head and neck aint strong enough t allow him t succeed. daddy always remind me t take very close attention t him turning cos he ever sees how ashton get angry and kick and kick and turn his body. lol, & he even knows how t give the satisfied look when he finished his formula. omg, he's really brightening our days! haha, i reduced his formula t only 100ml cos of his frequent regurgitation but he doesnt wanna stop, when you take out the bottle he will cry and kick so badly, sometimes i dont even knows if his full or greedy or really still hungry. He drank 220ml straight that day. Infant's caregiver told me its tooo much for him, so t play safe, im staying at only 100ml now & this exchanged for a regular wake-ups and feeding and reduced of regurgitation. The most i will increased t a 130ml when he exceeds his feeds. haha, im chit-chatting all at a go bout lil love, ok. i should stop & im eager for mj ltr at 3 pppppmmmmmmm ! wahhhhhh

2009-06-08T20:37:00.006+08:00

i just got home from ashton's infant care. hahah, made confirmation t get ashton registered there & overall i liked the environment there. HAHA~ i stayed there for some observation for almost an hour and i managed t get a chance t see one infant bath! haha, she cried like hella and idk why but the aunty says that babies know how t differentiate the surroundings. Been thinking whether ashton will cry the same as this baby. At first, i thou she was a he. haha opps ! then when i saw her get undress, i was like hahaha, girl laaaa ! -.-'' there's this mycs subsidy and im able t use the CDAC baby bonus card so not so tied for me monthly. jiejie arranged mj for me tmr afternoon at 3pm :) haha, this morning ashton nearly pee on my face, luckily i was half way standing, if not im 100% sure his pee pee will shoot onto my face prolly near my lips. haha, love laughed non-stop. wtf ! i think im gonna change his diapers brand t a cheaper one cos when i was surveying just now, most diapers brand use at the centre is cheaper. Mamy poko is quite expensive for me t refill both at home and at the center. overall, im just really excited cos the babies there are just so cute and during my break time, i can just run over t peek at my lil boy. i feel so at eased somehow.

2009-06-07T18:54:00.002+08:00

im pretty bored at home, love went outta with his friends for movie. Ashton just cried so badly that i really dont know how t handle & he stopped when he sucked my shirt. lol, i think new taste for him laaaaaaaa ! -.-'' he's rocking and being rocked t sleep which means i can have some free time for prolly 2 hours :D im starving now and i needa wait for rice to be ready before i tuck in for dinner. tummy aint feeling well buden i just feel greedy, maybe cos im stuck home w/o anything t busy with. Ashton turned 2 months ytd & i only managed t take 3 pictures of him but it was dark due t the flash then he fell asleep so i stopped taking em. i went for mj last night & it was real :D hahaha ! i enjoyed the procedure of enduring cos the outcome really does satisfies me.

on track

2009-06-06T13:16:00.003+08:00

things are getting better the way it seems buden i've learn not t get happy and think that everything's fine, cos by then i would not have enough time t take another blow & cry or get depressed again. ashton's sleeping and im wondering why im not? brought him for his injection ytd and he cried soooo loudly. haha! next jab will be this oral sabin 1st dose. day by day, time passes soooo fast. soon, it will be my working days, guess i really have t save alot more for ashton. haha, im so happy that i found him an infant care just behind my clinic. i think nanny will be a strike out for the time being. thou, infant care seems like..... but i think its the best for the time being. The fees are just a lil more expensive than nanny, but the diff is nanny is half day but infant is full. when ashton grows older, i think he can get educated with those eyes, nose, ears etc, plus he can get t know more friends, by then he wont be anti-social. haha. lol ! i always complained t nana that im sooo bored. i miss the old days where i can play and behave like my age & she's always there t calm me down with all her words and make me feel alive again. aunty puay, i missed you ! & wing, im feeling happy for you. i hope you can grab this happiness and make sure it doesnt bring more hurts for you. Im willing t walk this route, standing strong for lil love, he needs me more than anyone. when i see your lil hands and feet grows day by day, nothing can exchange the warmth. It must be this way.

pathetic state

2009-06-04T09:49:00.005+08:00

looking outta window took me 2 hours thinking and thinking. tears accompanied my silence, flowing continuously had drained me mentally. i wanna stay outta of these matters cos its making me really tired. i have no time for it, ashton has really eat most of my time. i need some space t rest! breathing seems so hard for me now. idk why??? im turning mute soon, cos ive realised that maybe somehow, i talked t mucha. i concluded that if i cant change anything, then i shall change myself. If i cant take hold and improve anything, i shall improve myself. baby, its sooo hard t try, but its even harder t stand strong:( i shall just act like a mummer. maybe ive been saying tooo much. i should have see this day coming ~ soon, i think im breaking now. i needa find the self i'd lost, i dont enjoy feeling weak and pathetic. hahaaa im gonna stay reserve & reflective for moments. GOOD LUCK!

cry

2009-06-03T14:38:00.004+08:00

why whenever things happen, girls can only cry? i feel like being a baby suddenly. idk why but im really stressed up by the surroundings. it seems that idk whats the right step t take next t make let the matter resolve perfectly. its really making me almost bonkers. big sigh! baby, can you teach me whats the right way for us t communicate? can you gimme time t learn a step at a time? or could you even make yourself a lil better cos its really a new chapter that we are moving into. no room for breathing is making me suffocating. & idk why it seems that asking questions had worn me out mentally soooo mucha ? i saw a change in myself, i used t like t know everything, cos im soooo scared of all. but now,i rather not know at all, feeling equally scared.this is killing me and maybe i created a barrier myself. what is it actually all about ? i feel sooo alone and insecure and its always this way. bathing ashton was the first time alone at home w/o any help.
why its so hard for me t control and take hold of the situation for once? i nvr felt like i was important for once. WHY ??????????

2009-06-03T00:24:00.005+08:00

im finally done with my new skin.omfg, i spend like 23314363 hours doing the arrangements & xxxxxxx. lol, love and ashton are sleeping now, my tummy are sending signals cos i haven been losing stools for like 3 days, so i needa visit toilet bowl now. jiejie's reaching any moment and im soooo excited. haha, i missed american's next top model last night and when jiejie asked me later bout it, im gonna whine and said i forgot watching cos she reminded me t tell her bout the episode cos she's at bangkok. hahahaha AND I FORGOT !!!
i gotta real shock by ashton just now when i was feeding his formula, omfg he suddenly scream, i mean scream !! when he was almost soundly asleep in my arms, idk why but my heart did skip a beat or two & i feel so insecure for him :(

2009-06-02T21:33:00.003+08:00

i've gotta nothing better t do!!! im soooo bored, been surfing this website that bencheng gave me and i watched most of the episodes of the past 超級星光大道. its really nice laaaaaa, and it did ate up my time. hahaha, jiejie is coming back today, wahahha. im prepared t welcome her with alotsa new stuffs. im sure she will get nice goodies for me. hahaha :X ashton's soundly asleep now & im feeling so tired but idk why i just dont wanna t sleep. fb seems t be a lil laggy cos i cant view the pictures properly. idk why, maybe i should tryna log in sometime ltr again. 娛樂百分百 is also like darn hilarious la. the stupid xiaozhu is sooooooo :D can you imagine im bored till this extent ? lol, love says that im like really nothing better t do. lil ashton's shit today was almost green, mama says that he might gotta shock or smth like that, im also not to sure, but i just feel sooo preotective over him. He gave me a superb duper cute smile when i carry him today which made me felt soooo fulfiling. lol & i cant help kissing and pecking him on his cheeks, he always give me the innocent look when you stop playing with him. i told sherald and lily that ashton and me like the 'pok pok pok pok pok pok' game. they cant stop laughing, im bringing ashton t clinic for his 6 in 1 jab this coming friday and i hope that fever doesnt comes visiting him right after. (prays)
i tried searching for nice templates t edit my skin but im just enjoying cont lazing ard thou i found em . wtf stellaaaa !

2009-05-30T02:03:00.003+08:00

its so late at night but i cant sleep, prolly because im tooo used t reverse sleeping timing from love. mom bought us butter crabs just now, and its real up! its the first time that im having it and its real heavenly. sighs, time pass sooo quickly, ashton's turning 8weeks on the 6th. haha, then im gonna bring him for his 6 in 1 injection. he's really funny, i think while he was sleeping just now (just a few mins ago) his tummy wasnt really feeling well or ???? idk. but he make alot of eeee ahhhh errhhww noises then PPPPOOOOO!!! lol, he farted then the noise(es) stopped. lol. love says that he's so chubby. i think he already exceed 5kg now. & when i carry and feed him his formula, my whole hand cramp like F. sometimes when he's angry, hahahahahah. ashton likes t be shaked all the time. When he just got back from thomson, we prepared yao lan for him, cos mama says that baby sleep yao lan head very up! buden ashton dont want, you place him inside he scream until can deaf. then we bought play-pen for him. sleep 3 weeks dont wanna again -.-' now keep inside store room (keep for nice-.-) now he wanna yao lan. then love and dad fixed the whole thing again. cos atomatic one! aiyoyo. i cant wait for him t grow.

2009-05-29T20:30:00.004+08:00

omfg, my head's spinning like real F and my gastric problems are killing me. i just feel like lying there a straight XXXXXX hours. ashton just cried for milk, and my toes numbed like F again cos of my incorrect sleeping posture. oh geez, RC in fb cannot be logged as its undergoing maintence. very sad, im finished with boys over flowers and i dread t cont with another korean drama which im halfway of as my head sucks like atomic bomb buden i cant sleep. how very sad :( went down t check if there's any infant care but its only like 18months. thats even :((((( cos i have t start looking for ashton's nanny for half a day as there wouldnt be anyone at home. i will if i can split myself into 2 -.- im blogging soooo boring-ly w/o any tone, so mono. lol

2009-05-29T10:28:00.003+08:00

lil ashton is breathing sooo loudly, i think love gotta help me clean his lil nose. haha, he just made a erwhhhhh sound so loud, sometimes in the middle of the night, he can suddenly scream sooo loudly. haha, funny precious. im waiting for wing t come over then i might prolly head t clinic t collect my cheque ! hehehe.
another week to 2 months old :D

2009-05-28T14:45:00.001+08:00

im feeling terribly unwell, my tummy's upset and the lower gum of mine is swollen due t me having toooo many wisdom t grow wisdom tooth. omfg, its making feel feverish and weak. whines~

PW with best

2009-05-28T02:26:00.002+08:00

just gotta home bout an hour with best. too bad i only can stay for 2 hours cos i needa rush back t keep my lil baby accompanied. i think i sang tooo hard and im feeling sore down at my throat, wtf i think cos i used toooo mucha of my energy t vent those fustrations over the last 10 months into the mike, poor thing. im feeling sooo uber sleepy now and i wanna hit t my bed right now, i missed the old times soooo badly, arghhhh !! mama ~

2009-05-27T17:10:00.002+08:00

i had gotten a bite by idk what at my lil toe. its sooo painful, numb and itch. WTF ! feeling really fustrated. &@%^#%@*(!@ i cant log into RC on fb. love is soooo dumb t log out after he had sucessfully log in. wth, and he explain becos he dont know how t open 2 explorers and log us in tgt. im like -.-'' you dont know how t ask uh ? kao. anyway, im gonna meet nana and wing ltr t PW in safra. its been soooo darn long that i enjoy screaming into the microphone. maybe its time i can let down some of my hair and love knowing that im going out, he like buay song and wanna go out also. i just cant find the right words t picture things correctly, but its kinda getting on my nerves & im feeling what i shouldnt be feeling. and plus, i got scolded cos outta sudden love came back early from work, and he refused t bring his keys idk of what the F reason, then knock the door but i dint hear at all. HELLO, i stayed up all night t nurse ashton while you are sleeping like one log and now when i wanna rest, you go out. wth, very tiring and nvr hear you knock the door becos im tooooo tired la, not my fault when you have keys but dont wanna bring. oh geeez !

so sad

2009-05-27T04:17:00.004+08:00

jiejie had just left for bangkok, :( whines cos its soooooo soooo mucha that i wanna tag alone. doing those crazy spending and eating. love agrees totally. HOLIDAYS ARE REAL HOT !! i cant sleep, thats very sad, cos i slept for toooo long just now. no one's gonna help me keep a lookout on ashton when i wanna bath or slack at night. gosh! 7 whole darn long days. sighs. xiaoying joked that she wanna keep me in her luggage and asked me to wrap myself with many many cash, so during checking i can buy em with my money. lol, i replied CANNOT LA, thats human trafficking. lol, i know its not funny. i feel so arghhhh when jiejie bidded goodbye. F*** !

lil honey

2009-05-26T17:21:00.002+08:00

my lil one

2009-05-26T16:54:00.004+08:00

There are really many things that i wanna rant about in this entry of mine, having many thous and emotions inside of me. My stupid com broke down last night and i wasnt able to complain what i felt, the words formed automatically inside my brain
maybe cos i was upset and fustrated ytd. lol, but now when i wanna recap on what was i to say ? I FORGOT! wtf. thinking about it, i really realised how much i couldnt act like last time. i couldnt dash outta the house when im feeling unhappy, i couldnt act so recklessly like the past. Its really different for now, whenever i turn to look at ashton its just soooo mucha i wanna give him, so mucha i wanna be with him. I think thats how it explains "mommy is the best human being brought t earth" sighs, its still soooo much i need to learn, soooo much i need to endure.
bright side, i needa look !!! i know that quarrels are inevitable, its a procedure that we have to go throu tgt. everything's changed! even the quarrels doesnt corresponds. To conclude, i just feel so not stella, and its a lil bothering, maybe cos i yet to adapt all as a whole. lol

多少次我忍住胸口的泪水
只是为了告诉我自己
我不在乎 :(

蔡依林-妥协

2009-05-25T14:32:00.001+08:00

蔡依林-妥协

你总爱编织谎言我负责配合表演
所有改变只为了进入你的世界
这情节重复了一百遍
才发现是你的心太野
你划定楚河汉界我不能轻易犯规
所有时间都是先给了你优先权
不自觉爱到不敢冒险
成了你的傀儡一年两年
才看见我有多狼狈
爱到妥协到头来还是无解
绑着你不让你飞
历史不断重演我好累
爱到妥协也无法将故事再重写
你已下最后通牒
我躲在我的世界
你只是害怕一个人睡
我不想再为你掉泪
我了解不会变不再徘徊
开始自己的明天

growing up

2009-05-17T10:46:00.006+08:00

lil boy is really cute, growing so fast and everyone says the chin like photocopied of mine. He's rrrreally greedy and sometimes when he already is encountering regurgitation, he can still cry for milk so badly. Once the milk is inserted into his small lil mouth, he sucked like........... haha, its really cute. Ashton's check-up is good, haha my mind is at ease ! im really very :D for everything. Its just soo much that i love him. & everyone commented that his as greedy as his mama -.-'' love says his pig leg like me _l_ baby where got pig leg one ???? stupid ! roll eyes, lol. & this small darling fart soooo loud one la, he fart people thought its me cos im carrying him ! -.-'' dots, cannot relax one make me ma-lu cos ppl ask me dont kay kay but its really not me la. feel like sucking out all the wind from his lil tummy. hahahahha

baby ashton's arrival

2009-05-07T09:21:00.004+08:00

hahaha, just finished my confinement :D lil precious had already celebrated his first month. No pics at the moment as i forgot t bring the memory card. lol. Many things t share and im feeling very excited being a mother of someone. Its really different cos you will only get t sleep less than 8 hrs a day, you have t ensure the surroundings being really clean, you have t double check whether the pampers and milk powder is sufficient for the day/week ? you have t go ard asking and comparing the prices. lol sound so aunty :D anyway, i learnt that from aunty ong :x lol
taking care of baby is really aint easy at all, it really tests your patience and i can really encounter mental stress as when it reaches bedtime, when everyone at home sleeps and snores so soundly and i being the only one awake trying very hard t hoax the baby t bed. When ashton sleeps, its really a bonus for me, cos i can rest for like 2hrs before his next milk time, but when he doesnt, its hell. Sometimes, i do admit i get very fustrated :( but whenever i see him looking at me, i realised how much its worth it. He always plays with his tongue and make the sucking milk sound when his soundly asleep. lol , greedy like me :D very proud !!!! baby is really cute when he talks t ashton, he always use the tone which i nvr ever heard him talking before. everything is really different as compared t before, thou there's still a long and tough road, im happy that im given such precious ones.

ps: a great thanks t those that came visiting me and the gifts :D yall are equally great :DDDD LOVE!

:D

2009-03-15T02:04:00.003+08:00

its been a real long time since i logged in to www.blogger.com
been sleeping really much like one pig recently, weight gained like F*** and i swelled like one bloated puffy fish exploding any moment. My feet are causing me real problems as they swell like wtf, my backache are killing me and the frequent urination make me wanna stab my bladder. ahhaa, but anyway these moments are gonna end real soon as ashton's gonna be welcomed into my life nextmonth which im looking like real forward to it !!!! im happy with my life and all that i have now. Life's really great and my views for things are starting t change for the better slowly.
STELLA is almost-prepared for her motherly life, thou there are still lot t learn. love's playing his role well recently thou there are still lil bickerings, but thats part and parcel of marriage, isnt it? Just hope everything continues going on smoothly then i can be at ease, real eased !!
Doc says that ashton's big for natural birth and asked me to consider bout c-section. Im really in deep thous, cos i really would want the best for him. next appt falls on the 17/03 . Wish me GOOD LUCK !! :D
no epidural oh pls !!!!

uber bored

2009-01-11T18:01:00.002+08:00

im like really really boring right now. love is playing his new game introduced by cousin and he finds it really nice. Now playing lan with pui and lu. Im here cos i dont wanna stay home alone. Maybe i should recap on what i did this new year. Went for the countdown celebration at seletar dam, had a lil bbq that night. Satay's really good. Some fireworks could be seen across malaysia. I think they are bout t leave. haha, bye !

dull

2008-12-27T14:46:00.004+08:00

love just called, he said that he bought me a DS lite & i scolded him like why wanna waste money? aiyo ! then he replied say its cheap, its worth the price + the best part is, BUY FOR YOU STILL WANNA SCOLD PEOPLE -.-'' i mean, im happy that you think of me becos you are afraid that im will rot at home and very bored etc. I just have t admit the fact that girl's thinking really varies from boys. Girls always wanna save money in those gaming factors but rather spend on clothes etc. On the other hand, boys always prefer gaming. Thou its only $180 for a first hand, but my heart still like wow WOW WWOOWW!! ok, thanks love. I appreciate it but i only know how t play cooking mama. lol maybe can try out the dishes that is being taught at home. Uber bored at home, no mj today. I might be heading down t cityhall t accompany love back home. Im really rotting at home. Wasteful saturday :( Met wing for lunch just now, aunty came t look for me last night. I called justin for the website t dl some songs but the problem is i do not have my SD card with me. F ! Starring right at the com, typing whatever that i could think of. ARGHHHH!! i just wanna deliver baby asap, at least there's someone t keep me company like during a boring day.

defination

2008-12-26T13:08:00.002+08:00

HATE - to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest

ps: what hate you are inferring to? just hope t let you know, this is being toooo strong a word. :)

teeheee

2008-12-26T12:51:00.002+08:00

Nothing really big happened at work, so im thanking god really hard :D Everything remains the same. Love was being really supportive and i got this present from him last night, quite cool mp3. The SD card just happened t pre-load some nursury rhymes in it, so before i turned in t bed i played some of em and soon fall asleep =_=
Another present was from aunty and meimei, its really like uber cool for meimei's one. Its her lil art craft; a combination of 2 paper plates, some green straws and cotton wool & it did made me feel like a lil mother. She told aunty t pass it t xiao wuwu =) how heart warming. What esle could i ask for ? & aunty's card did helped alot in expressing your feelings. Puay laolao, its the same, internally! Thanks for even assuring with your p:s im the only one who recieved it. Thus, i present you something very funny and special. Pls dont rofl when you see it, but appreciate cos only i will think of such dumb thingy ( very proud of it ) =D

Its really funny when a matter is being stirred and started but could be turned into ignorant and acting blur. Thats really a uberrrrr clever move which i've learnt from you ;D GAO ZHAO sia ! Telling lies dont solve the problem, one fine day just one bloody fine day you will be expose for all your "good" deeds :D hahaha

namesssssssss

2008-12-23T15:03:00.001+08:00

ah boy named him zedren !
.
.
.
ZEDREN OR ASHTON !!!!!?
like can call ren ren or ton ton when he grows a lil older :)

very surface

2008-12-23T14:27:00.004+08:00

Things are getting a lil annoying. Hello, whats the real big problem? If you have anything against anyone, please be frank ! Stop beating ard the bush like one of a kind. THATS HOW YOU SHOULD PHRASE THIS SENTENCE (for yueting)
I dont have one problem with you but i am really quite irritated when i read joyce blog. What the hell has it gotta do with you that i dint reply the tag and you must make sucha public annoucement & should make such big confession ? It doesnt really have anything related t you right? Thus i must thanks joyce for blogging everything out, even such personal conversation with aunty over MSN. & for joyce, pls its not the first day you ever know me. Im not those who will keep saying i miss you i miss you. If you are so concern over what yueting said and wanna make your comment so strong like i dont care etc. Hello, by all means. Like how i can picture things in my mind. You like very surface things ? Sorry, i dint really get your well intentions. Pls make it real bold. Im really annoyed by how yueting stirred the matter, like one (i cant think of any word t describe for the time being) but what ever it is, i still know how the bond meant and how you ever lend a helping hand. Must all these be CAPITALISED or what ? Please! Actions speaks louder but not all actions and feelings must be shown ? So, yueting are you feeling happy now like how you should. Thou, i just wanna let you know. Go on, Spoil everyone relationship. Let the victim carries on. Now even one pregnant women you also wanna tackle. Real cool sia. Buay tahan. Like that also wanna advertise how attentive you can even be, my tag board also wanna scroll and see i got reply who? never reply who?the more you do, the more you are likely t be expose. Act innocent all you want, act happy all you want. Plot your plan t rip people apart better, dont let the chances of getting expose get away. Spend more time on that instead on me and my tag. Cos it will not do any good t you. You aint a threat t me at all !

The very last part for aunty,
you are a very important role in my heart, like how you mention t me. Things seldom get hard t understand between us. You made me grown up, taught me those very important factors of life. Making me change from a cry baby t make a lesser cry baby. Somehow, i see the very lonely side of you in my eyes, no matter how you smile, how hard you laugh. i know you feel just lonely. Stella aint like last time, no more hard core meetings , no more hard core catching up but internally the bond is there. Im glad you assured me with those very short phrases during msn that day. Very heart warming. For your love affair, Its really a brave decision. Thou i've been wanting t let you know how much i supported and i can know how tired you feel, how much you bleed internally. Just move on with the lil ones. :D

ps: somethings, there isnt a need t advertise t make more bonds get closer t you. Whats yours will be yours. No matter how long, the bond stands. If it aint yours, no matter how hard you try, just carrying on trying harder ! :D

PSPS: the important factors are aunty and joyce!

:D

2008-12-19T13:07:00.002+08:00

i suddenly think lil one spread his lil male hormones t me, im very satisfied with the colour blue. -.-'' but imma not feeling BLUE ! lol

.
.
.
.
&&&&&
A VERY BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY T MY ALWAYS DEAREST SHANNON TEO, ALWAYS DEEP INSIDE OF ME !

consolence

2008-12-19T12:40:00.003+08:00

love's grandfather passed away on the 17th. His brain pronounced dead. Quite sad when i see all of them rushed to and fro the hospital and home. I wasnt allowed t follow as they say that the hospital is very dirty etc, not good for me. I stayed home waiting alone, with MISS NO GOOD companied. Funny things and phrases suddenly seem not funny, maybe becos i was also kinda emotionally affected. After all, they are my family alrd. Off day was ytd, and they left home uber early t the hospital t collect ah gong's body t prepare for the wake. I was told t be home-d until they called. When all's ready then im allowed t enter the wake. & seriously, idk why i dont mind the pan-dang cos its like a family and i believe very much love's family do care for me so much that they will want the best for me even in this situation. Plus my uber strong lil boy:D No one t cover the shift for me today thus i have t go for work, till 4pm. Working alone :( kinda feeling very tired. Grrrrrrr! Dint really sleep well last night cos love wanna stay at the wake with jian. Haha, i think im like one kinda ........ throwing tantrums, so hissy towards love. I just wanna him back home with me, dont wanna sleep alone. But, used so mucha t it, i dint manage dragging him back with me. lol --''
R.I.P gong gong
ah lu called t say bout the application for the new flats in yishun, i think im quite interested in that, i gonna drag love down prolly next week after the wake t enquire more, im afraid he might not be able for any leave when he go back t work. Im gonna for my scan in 5 days. VERY EXCITED INDEED :D

tough mission -.-''

2008-12-17T13:02:00.002+08:00

i just blog about something very cool but idk why it wasnt post up & its like superb wtf mode ok. I have t re-type again and i forgot some of the content that i used t puzzle the sentence. BIG F ! & Im having this very tough misson which require many many times brain storming. THE PROBLEM IS, IDK WHAT T GIVE MY BABY A NICE SWEET UBER COOL NAME. I got one in mind, ASHTON :D (very wide smile) some comments i've got
Nana = quite nice, CAN !
Wing = Not bad
Ah boy = Too common leh ! ( i gave her 3, all the same answer, ask her think she responded "WAIT AH, good things need time" but alrd like F long -.-'')
Been cracking my brain till i think my nerve and veins got affected, I had one dream last night and its real hilarious (in my point of view) :)
I was in a place, surrounded with many many baby stuffs & my mind is racing real fast by placing alphabets A - Z infront of ashton.
eg: Bashton(eerk) Cashton(like very $ face) Dashton(-.-'') Eashton(dont like) Fashton(yucks) and it went on .......
but quite a few did caught my attention, Jashton Kashton Sashton Zashton seems quite alright. I gotta jot these down and pick one, baby's name giving me a real big hard time but he's my precious so i must laaaaa ! love surely not gonna give me any nice suggestion cos he alrd named him wuwu. NOW every night come back from work says HELLO wuwu, today got kick not ? huh ! naughty not? wow, your mama very fat etc ending with big laugh. PLS bang your head against the wall love. F you =>

simple

2008-12-13T20:31:00.002+08:00

stayed at home with mum the entire day. It's really warm :D had lunch with bitch ytd and we spend quite some time doing quite alot of catching up. Hang out with ah boy and hweeting on wed, they were extremely sweet. We went all the way t marina square just becos i wanna some steamboat kinda buffet, they companied w/o any complain. We had hotpot culture and was quite yummy. Head for some chilling with the rest over at bugis and love called for food cos all the shops closed for the day, he gotta no food. Had t walk quite a distance from bugis t sim lim laaaaaa, but boy and ting offered t company me, hahah. Very happy shiock feeling i felt over that second (so safe) =) & now, im waiting for nana t come over for my dinner, just feeling very lazy and i wanna some eat-in and i whine and whine like million times. thanks honey :D Im really protected by these few, but it seems soooooooo :D
love will see a very happy girl beside him soon & she will kiss his eyes, nose, mouth ending with ilu -.-''
love started talking t xiaowuwu after applying butter cream for me, his really uber funny and i think his making a really good change already. very contented hun hun.

2008-12-03T12:55:00.004+08:00

love was great last week and im proud of him, very ! Went down visiting him @ work cos im darn bored staying home alone :S EXPO was darn bloody packed with people, omfg. i went back after a while cos i gotta no patience :x working full shift today and im dreading for work cos im feeling uber lazy. Been questioning for hella times why i cant feel baby kicking me? gosh! :D
gonna pour soon, i think i only know how t come online, log int blogger, start typing very randomly. n'wae, i miss my ah boy cos she was supposed t be my company last sunday. tan hweeting called last night @ 2am and said hello, sleeping ? ok, bye bye ! lol. wtf !!!!!!!!!!!!!! she forgot t tell me her nose stopped running.
love finally called t say xia hen da yu -.-''

sweet boy !

2008-11-27T12:47:00.004+08:00

Off day ytd was quite fulfilling. met my ah boy and hweeting becos she was down in love. awrhs, so sad for her but i was there for her. I helped her by making her wounds swell deeper :D how nice of me right boy ? BASIC COURTESY! chilll laaaa :D
we went for xinwang then do some girls slacking and after that, thomson prata cos im craving for that, but dint turned out nice. Many of the ex navalies was present. We went for chilling out at dam and talked like real bitches. HAHA ! =x
Its started raining so we went into the car and non-stop hits then it got too stuffy then went out again. Then rain again, then i say GO HOME! i think im being a lil very ....... but best are always there t endure and shower me with the nods and OKs.
lol, a very small thank you :D Ah boy protested t send me under the block as it was raining but its like she missed the carpark entrance and had t go one big round.I shout no need la, she yelled NEED!!! I lost with very nice feeling. Haha, cos she send with soooo many love that i cant tahan. omfg':D its nice hearing mary say yea ya tgt making the atmosphere uber sweet. Just pray hweeting nose had stop running :X
kill me pls angelina, i will shower you with my basic courtesy cos ilu so.
& pls pls, when you are down, dont just think of me alone do some actions by calling me and beg me forrrr help. I'll give the best you dumbell !

ps: best were there for me as well, knowing i need them equally much :) im strong popeye, ah boy is betty boooooo . huhur

2008-11-26T14:01:00.002+08:00

today's off day :O home playing online girly games and doing nothing & today is our 4yrs10months anniversary. went for scanning ytd after work. 100% boy! im speaking with no rythm. i just hoped nana and wing was there for me last night when the rain nearly pour.

fragile

2008-11-20T20:17:00.002+08:00

idk why i really can get quite tensed in some factors that i read. This feeling just cant seems t calm me down. I celebrated my birthday yesterday :) Thanks t all who was there. Thanks for the sweet cake and the perfume. Too bad wing aint there, my skinny bitch. Happy belated b'day yuan ping. May your 20th celebration was wild and cool:D Many factors with no explainations are running throu my mind. I know my post is really very random, but i just wanna voice how im feeling now. What do one actually expect in love ? I realised i always got this different point of viewsssss in seeing love from others. Not all, but some. Nothing is smooth in this world, why upset yourself over something you know that will not bring harm and make yourself cry like one finding fault with yourself ? You cant expect spoon-feeding in love, this is what i learn, cos you will make yourself the loser. You cant expect all these and that when you are actually a mirror reflection. Nothing is fair, but you have t play fair and smart. If everyone had that view that i cant lose, i must win. Then there wouldnt be a loser. Sometimes, i find being a loser cool. Becos the benefit from losing makes one lesson vulnerable and more precious :) i find falling hard lesser pain, cos i will be immune t it soon. I will cry, i will get hurt but much lesser each time. I feel so dumb sharing my views here. wtf , but i cant help it.

relations

2008-11-16T12:56:00.003+08:00

Read few of my best blogs and i got emotional caught-up. Few things i would like t share. The journey with me and love was really long. I got countless downs and a countable ups. In life, many have different experiences, love; family; point of views in many aspect will definately be different. Its really true that love isnt everything, but love makes someone everything. There are ups and downs in life, one cannot just expect ups but rejects downs. There would then be a balance in how you see things and handle them. Love is selfish, everything is selfish! but there's a choice in how you actually visualise selfish. All my best would know i gotta hell-up countless cries and breaking down. I cant give love up, its a fact that i ought t admit and im proud of it. Things just started t get better after 5 years, im happy but its doubtless that im feeling emotionally and mentally worn-out. Its how i explain LOVE. The road of journey is long, i just hope the wise choice is being made. We have t stand strong in order t obtain and achieve with pride, but not complaining and gaining nothing.
:)

life

2008-11-14T13:03:00.002+08:00

i learn how not t be so dumb t trust your work boss. politics are killing me very badly. i just have t act blur t make life easier.
baby was sweet t me yesterday night, hands held so firmly across the cross-junction.
eyes locked onto each other's so gently.
i love you that much boy.

2008-11-09T20:12:00.003+08:00

im freaking bored now at home. waiting for love t wake up but i think it's really gonna take some time. Feeling very moody over some case-sensative and im not in the right state of mind t figure how should i handle thing in the correct manner. I just feeling uber sucky now and i feel like smashing his head with my fingers. roll eyes. Im kinda feeling a lil hungry now. sighs, but i think that it would be quite a tough job t wake him up. sometimes, i just dont understand. I tried cracking my brains, the answer will never be sufficient t please. god darn ! 2nd prize today really very heart-aching. four numbers that i bought open, but jumped. -.-'' ALOT OF $$$$ EH ~! kao. im really very moody now. sighs. for so long, you always fail t see me and how you made me felt. ALWAYS, ALWAYS !

2008-11-08T17:16:00.004+08:00

another mj session coming up. brb
lol

thanks :)

2008-11-08T16:36:00.002+08:00

FRIENDSTER is freaking lag and idk if im the one who makes it lag due t me being so darn impatient or its really lag. wtf ! just ended mj session and im like superb bored. gonna work at 7 and for the time being, im just doing nothing. baby went out t look for his friends and gave me a very gooooodd excuse becos im mahjiong-ing and its a really good and reasonable reason t cover his backside and shut my mouth. lol.
roll eye, f you baby. The page that accepts my comments had been loading for hours laaa. wth. week by week, very fast. many can see my xiao wu wu soon. lol. i bought something for him & i think its like really uber cute. im getting bored with the topics im trying t tell. bye

:D

2008-11-04T14:42:00.005+08:00

different

2008-11-04T14:26:00.002+08:00

21.10.08
baby and i had offically announced husband and wife. It seems really drama, this 5 years wasnt really easy, but at least i pulled throu. I believe we would, in future.
& here, i lay my hands tgt with yours.

26.10.08
traditionally tgt. It's really a uber long week. Feeling really worn-out. been throu sleepless and endless night. OH GOD! but it is going t be all worthwhile. Just praying real hard nothing goes wrong like my gown wont drop in the middle of the tea ceremony. no one fell and see my panties etc. lol. kidding. :) it was alright thou. baby took real great care of me. but my toes in that heels ache like f. glad i dint slip and fell :x
the only thing was wing not around :( im like super lazy t update the procedure, let the picture do the talking. i hope i will upload them with a story line that tells.
lol. flu and fever had been haunting me over the days. i detest drownsy pills. i miss those sweet vitamins.

awwwww

2008-09-26T23:57:00.002+08:00

when i thou everything will go smooth, its just seems so much on the surface.
The right things just never seems t reach me, and the bad ones just cant please me. Awwwwwwwwww darn that whatever-you-name-tt
im just feeling real hella sucky and i wannnaaaa screammmmmmmmmm

why cant i just win & you ever lose for ONCE ??

f.shit :S

2008-09-23T17:50:00.003+08:00

many recent things happened in my life and its a real drastic ones. how do i actually feel about it? i cant bing myself forward t an answer. but imma definately feeling blissed.
may god bless me and mine :D

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

2008-09-06T22:33:00.002+08:00

happy birthday my dearrreessttttt mom !!
the best moments i had with you! :)
you will sparkle in my heart my lifetime !!
this is mushy and cheesy but love is just this way !
hahahhahaa

digging love

2008-09-06T22:19:00.002+08:00

this time round, it means i have t grow up big time. & im happy god gave me this precious present. It meant more than anything and i looking real forward :)

(:

2008-05-25T20:50:00.004+08:00

life have t go on. Im not a good gf, i dont know how t love and the way i love is not the way you want things t be. When i look back into all your promises, the hurt that im getting is really overwhelming. I love you more than myself but i realised the only way t love better is loving myself first. When i see how you react, my heart numbed with ache and i realised, from the very start it always seems i bring shame to myself. Making me a repeative fool :(
i really tried all my best boy, but nothing can ease you.
somehow or rather, im so sick of this(my life)
when i read back, hahha its always being together and not, i know its like duh!
but its really drastic. it seems like why CANT you just not make me cry ? why cant you just spend a lil more time saying baby i love you? why cant you just make another try t keep me cool? its just these simple steps to ease me completely but it was never once achieved. Was it so hard t show how you really love me like how you keep repeating when you was inside? Was it just that easy to put your feeling aside? im having hella sucky times and im crying like a fucktard internally.

boy, i just have t admit that's how mucha i love you and the impact makes me wanna slap youuuuuuuuuuuuu !
rahhhh !

keep me company.

2008-05-16T23:48:00.002+08:00

its nice having you back boy. i believe we will have good times.
i wanna blog something long and nice, but .......
ok bye

rainy days

2008-04-20T16:10:00.004+08:00

The weather had been rather sucky recently. The sky will turns dark suddenly & it will pourrrrrr like nobody's business. Umbrella is really essential =)
Baby's sleeping like log & i cant wake him up, i dead bored now. Thou i kinda feel a lil tired now, but if i sleep now then tonight it would be hard for me t sleep well & when i need t wake up for work tmr YESSSSSSSS! i will be dead.
Off days always pass soooooo fast. Anyway, Baby's father curry is really delicious. i had a really fulfilling lunch and im growing wider, so baby you gotta stop feeding me and ask me t company for food when your tummy calls for FOOD!! :D

these days

2008-04-14T22:30:00.002+08:00

had been a really good girl, waking up as early as 7am t go for work. & i know this is very common, but idk why it dont seems t fall on me just recently. LOL !! nothing t be proud of i know -.-
Working is fun these few days after the change of trainer. Went into buddy session last friday and i answered a call. Was quite nervous but i think i did it well enough for a dumb beginner who dont pays attention in class. :p
There's one last test tmr. Sherwin(our trainer) released the results today and i scored 98marks. Hahahahaha, I copied almost like 1/4 of the paper. wroops ~
Training days are really superb slack, and i think when i go on board. Im sure t dieeeeeeeeeeeee !!!! surely peng san one laaaa!
Mj sessions over the weekends :D its like becoming so mucha of my standard procedure alrdy heh. & i gotta kick the habit soon cos my fav friends are complaining so much of their unhappiness due t the lack of my company ( i know you all need me and love me =x)
heheh. dont puke :D
i think im gonna get hook onto baby soon.

There was a day that i felt very lonely, i heard those hangouts, i learn bout those outings. thinking throu the past when i got happy moments with the rest. Hanging out almost each day with yall, but when i came t know how happy you are living w/o me but with the rest. There was this overwhelming ache i felt in my heart. idk how it happen and i dont recall doing anything t make the quarrel between yall happened. I dint said any t cause the quarrel. When i recall, the heartache pierced like a sharp needle when its soft poking throu but the impact was great enough t kill. I wasnt a bad girl, i dint said anything. it was a hard lesson taught,but i learn, at least not t participate in others stuff even when it comes. i know it well, from that very moment on, we would just be know as acquaintance.

ta-la-la

2008-04-14T22:28:00.001+08:00

:) my babylove is coming out tmr :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

when you know its coming!

2008-04-10T19:19:00.002+08:00

Had a fast weekend and now its the fourth day of a new week !!! One more day t another weekend, then blink blink, baby will be out !!!!!! :)
Happy issue ! work was okay for me but we got many tests and role playing t complete. it was really arghhhhhh !! Glad that the 3 that i took was all PASSED !! & there would be another tough one coming tmr, awh SHIT!! Wireless service taught today was....
I bet nobody was really listening, it was really dried and nothing seems t go inside my brain, the digestive system not good today -.-
I hope tmr ends faster pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee
& i think today's presentation sucksssss!! My partner and i was really screwed. God damn it :( lets hope it will be a better day tmr and the relate topic that the trainer said was something like debate !!! & now, God bless me.

be back on time baby, cos i've been waiting

hello work :)

2008-04-01T20:41:00.002+08:00

started work today. Thou i still aint very used t waking up so early, i feel many many love today. Ah Fu fetched me t work becos he aint working and he wanna leave home early t settle some payment and daddy came t fetch me after work as he was nearby and brought me and mich for dinner. This is love and it was a great bonding day :D Work today was so-so. Met new friends and almost all around the same age. We had almost a close 7 hours of training and was things briefed was really dry. I almost fell asleep a couple of times. Luckily they was flexi with the break time thus making time easier t tick tock tick tock :)But, but this gonna cont for a straight 17 days. Omfg. Bless me someone :) Its APRIL FOOL today plus its also love's mama birthday. I just visited him ytd and he's really very annoying t keep repeating how ugly my straight bangs are!! Oh thank you love, you sucks :) haha !! He's gonna return t meeeeeeee within 14days and thank god, i did survived the past 7 months. Phew ~ Boy, i think you was a sweet disgusting hun that drew me the drawing.
Thank You Me :D
I think i needa run and catch some sleep. The dumb insects are giving me lotsa bites. Thank you but my baby will gimme mine soon, so shoooooooo ~ !!
VERY ITCHY YOU KNOW ?? KAOOOOO !!!!!!!

Miley Cyrus - I Miss You lyrics

2008-03-29T19:09:00.001+08:00

Sha-la-la-la-la
Sha-la-la-la-la

You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from Heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

I miss you, I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once and a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart will let you go, and I need you to know
I miss you, sha-la la la la, I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm livin' out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

I miss you, I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once and a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know
I miss you, sha-la la la la, I miss you

I know your in a better place, (yeah)
But I wish that I could see your face (oh)
I know you are where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you, I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once and a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know
I miss you, sha-la la la la

I miss you, I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once and a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know
I miss you, sha-la la la la, I miss you

all night long

2008-03-29T18:57:00.003+08:00

ah boy gonna drive me out tonight !! t idk where with her friendssssss. & i just tried very hard t wanna book my TP online but idk why cannot lehhh and it reads that i dont have PDL laaa but its like right in front of me. Oh my so holy shit, i gonna make a trip down tmr for the booking if not im gonna start work this coming tuesday then im gonna be sooo tied down already, so STELLA phua you better hurry and complete what's incomplete. Stop di-di-dey-di-ing like shitass! OOOOKkkkkOOOkkk -.-'' shhhhh!
ah boy and bear gonna come over my place now for a 2 rounds of mj before we go out :) ok, i needa mop the floor now cos mommy is shouting into my ears. & she just mentioned something vey cute, she asked if i realised how impt she is t me ? then im like yea mom, becos without you i think my ear drums would not be functioning so well, your voice made me adapt very well t loud noise :)

ok, i love you laaaaaaaaaaa !
baby's coming back t mama in another 17days :D