Time ticks as I await
The hour ends before my take
Sitting, thinking, waiting; my mind escapes
Silence begins the day
as morning comes without notice
Tears begin to fall, slowly
Sadness comes to end,
happiness conquered hate.
Love sprouting and sadness shrinking,
hope has come again.
much misses; my big boy!!

im letting go of all grudges i've been holding i swear !
keeping bad memories is sooo unhealthy. i need t learn how t move on.
im trying hard (:
thou things are always not going as planned, going throu this process enable me t really grow up alot. its all worthwhile !!! and i know that are still alot more i have t master, this isnt crap !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okay, stop puking while reading luh (x
i dint recieved baby's lleetteerr today , gosh so sad.
hurry postman, quick quick !!!!!!!!!!!
im gaining like sooooo mucha, i wanna hulala ~
i should really sew my mouth t prevent anymore intake
rrraaahhhhhh.
mom is nagging me t house-chore again
(run.....)
BYE !!!!
(okay mom; im coming luhhhhhhh)

omfg, somehow i really feel so much like nua-ing on my bed till the end of time and not ever wake up. im really like SSSSOOOOO tired. my eyes are shutting most of the time and i know i really wanna sleep like that badly. i dont know why i am feeling sooooo tired ?????????????
i gotta run for work at clinic now. and this sucks big time and more than a million balls luh luh luh.
P/s im learning t enjoy the process of being worn-out (:


baby; im waiting for you.
i really need you in my life
no matter what i have t do, i'll wait for you !!
gimme more love ; dont keep all t yourself
im on my knees, its killing me.
rrraaahhhhh !!!!!!!

seriously , i think there's a problem with myself but i dont see what the fuck is that? HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE JIA LING !! are you holding a bday celebration in the zoo ?
make it free entry okay ? much loves thou you are a tigeress !!
X)

MONDAY BLUES SUCKS LIKE THOUSAND MILLION BALLS !!!!!!!!!!!!
i wanted t jog so badly, but it was raining. omfg ):
all the waste fats will then turn so thick luh !!! pouts ~
but i gotta no other days t jog anymore till weekends
clinic's schedule gonna be from tue - thurs evenings.
just recovered from a bad flu (: bliss t have bf's sister beside me, assuring that i was a good girl taking all my meals at the right time; texting me almost every 4hours reminding me t eat and drink more water; was my company when i complained i wanna watched my dvds but fell asleep in the end; dont even dare t move a lil when i was so unwell and doze off beside her when we was watching tele cos she dint wanna disturb me. plus bf's daddy, cooking crabs for me. oh lord. REALLY BLISS !!! thou bf isnt around. i still have a nice company around, which really is HEART-WARMING. deep within my soul , i seriously do appreciate soooo much. makes me feel so much like baby's around. HAHAHAHA!! baby's never gonna appear till next april. WTF !!!!!!
okay, im the strongest AH FAT IN THE WORLD luh (:
i really need t shower like real soon, cos i gotta run t meet bf's sis.
she insisted on treating dinner cos she got her pay. its gonna be my turn when my pay arrives :D another thick lump of fat gonna start t rest under my fats.
means its gonna be fats under fats. layers and layers and layers ):
im gonna ask baby if he will still want me when i turn a 200kg ????
i sure he's gonna freak out . HAHA
it isnt that bad anyway . LOL
i will just cause
beds sofa chairs t break
heels t crack
poor feets t ask me t stop standing
XXXXXXXXL clothings
mom t SSCCRREEAMMMMM !!!!!!!!!
:D

If the past year were offered me again,
And choice of good and bad again
Would I accept the pleasure with the pain?
Or dare to wish that we had never met?
Could I bear those happy hours to miss?
When love began, unthought and unspoken
That summer day began coincidently
We knew each other by fate.
I dint escape the pain,
Debate and anguish was what i underwent
You left me waiting in vain
With trouble wasted, till my strength all spent
I knew at last that mistakes and pain had conquered
and repentance was too late.
I gave all those a miss,
And decided t entrust myself t you again.
Looking myself in the mirror
It reflected how strong im standing here physically.
I wont complain; i wont make a sound
And nothing can bring me down.

:D

good news ; im gonna start work at clinic tmr after office
7 - 9 pm =)
haha , then i would have another extra income.
i wanna pay all the money. feeling so bad.
Money is Making Me Mad luh !!!
guess im working another temp this weekends.
im sure its gonna be darn shag for me , but its like better
than i have nothing t do. ( self-console)
went for a jog in the evening.
its been long since i perspire, listening t songs
at my own sweet time pace. i kindly realise
i became stronger , aint any lil girl that fear lonliness.
when im down, i'll cheer myself up by treating myself some shit and urine
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!
i wouldnt be down then. HAHAHAH
i miss BIG BOY like many ;
and tmr gonna be a hectic day for me ??????!!!
my new occupation is being a big fat robot.
thus, the wires are going 'HEY-WIRE'
and this typo looks like .......
hahah, i need t charge myself now.
battery's empty
so , bye .

its been really a while since i blogged. like , it used t be so often that
i'll switch on my com and type www.blogger.com and start crapping most of the
time. haha. worked the entire week. i kinda tired. from MON - SUN.
weekends was fun (: happy birthday ah boy !! happy 19th , you dummy (x
went QB cool bar on sat t celebrate ah boy's birthday. i think we were
really noisy. there was about 13 of us !! haha. GIRLS NIGHT luh .
dint really drink alot, but i reaced home at 4am after a whole day of work
and woke up 8am in the morning for sun. met gfs yesterday. and i know i was
giving some kinda bad attitude. haha. im so sorry my bitches . was really
tired. and i dont know how should i explain my emotions.
not that i dont wanna pour my sorrows t you. i dont know how and where t start.
lemme bottle them up till its brim then pour over all of you. then all of ya gonna
get wet with me from top t toe. hahaha .
i know thats ...... ; OKAY , WHATEVER ~
my tummy is bloated as if im 9 months pregnant .
im having a bad crump . wtf, im feeling so restless.
im gonna shower and go lala land.
like this early ??? but i feel like finish watching HELLO MISS (korean)
feel like playing maple , feel like surfing and the list goes on ......
and wait for nana's call. but my body just whispered that she wanna sleep.
hahahhahahha , NNNOOOOOTTT FFFUUNNNNNNNNYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!
-.- ''
im so lame tired sleepy sticky smelly dirty .
i wanna bathe in the toilet bowl . ahhaah , wanna try ?
again , NNNOOOTTT FFUNNNYYYY .
bye.

im real disappointed in this. and i cant understand why must you act like one 3 month old toddler? omg. com'on !! we are already grown-up you know ? im not sure of why the quarrel started? and i dint start telling EVERYBODY that we are having a lil disagreeement. i have been trying real hard not t take what people tell me and what i heard and see t heart. but i think by reacting this way and doing such things are a lil over for sucha grown-up like you ?! and this is seriously affecting me thou i still treat you like a brother that were there for me when i face conflicts with my bf. and i believe that my bf still loves you like his brother as you were the only one he cares t mention in his letter but i dont even think you care ? do you ? gave you his address, if you did even bother replying or taking the first move t send your regards t him. then im sincerely sorry that i had mistaken you. forgive me for feeling this way , cos i texted you but there wasnt response. if you were that angry and unhappy with me, its not my bf that had provoke you. its 2 different matters !
all i hope is that, stop going around and tell everyone that the reason you quarrel with me was becos i was with another bunch of friends and bleh bleh bleh ? was that really the reason ? HELLLLOO !!! the main reason that i was upset and unhappy about was the way you kept talking t me ! talk so loud scream into my ears raising your voice at me. im not sure bout yours, but you can always tell me. yea, i know it very well that that's the way you are and you were always that way. but somehow, there are times when i cant take such treatment as well. dont try and say you treat everyone in the manner. i dont see you yelling into everybody's ears all the time. its disheartening many times. after that night of crying, i want that angry anymore and i dont know the reason why you were so angry ? thats funny isnt it ? i was the one being yelled at just becos i was having a lil mood swing that day, just becos i wasnt talking as much as usual , just becos you feel that i was showing attitude when i merely was just keeping quiet ???? when you are quiet and dont talk as much , do we yell and shout at you ? dint i answered you telling i wasnt giving any attitude when you started yelling ? hello !! as for the new friends issue , dont always use that as a topic for you t mention anywhere everywhere. werent you the one that say people should have many different group of friends ? dont always stay in one group. omg . there you are doing this , and here you are telling people you are angry with me cos im doing this ? and how often do you still see me with those that its so concerning to you? sometimes , you have t see the picture , but not imagine the picture . thats a lil too unfair .
i try enduring , try giving in . but it seems like i dont mean a single thing t you at all. i know im those kinda that can take jokes, can let people make fun of but there are times when i do flare up and times when i dont feel right
dont make this sound that i have killed someone or did something that can never be forgive . and did you tell others that we quarrel also becos you yelled really loudly into my ears ??? i bet you dint right ? im really disappointed. and if i mistaken you again, im sorry. and for what i have not forgotten, the issue that you mentioned t others, we had talked it out when we used t have breakfast in the morning ? therefore, it sounded really ridiculous to me.
i wonder, was it true that i was too easy t bully ? or its when i dont react like how others do when people starts t disturb me that will led t such stuffs ?
im not really pissed becos you tell others this and that. you have your rights and i believe you do have your own thinkings like how im having mine now .
in quarrels , both parties are at fault. but you dont have t make things till such a extend.

ps : im really annoyed ; and i dont wanna turn t gfs outta sudden ):
but bf isnt around.
sighs. i dont mind if none believes.
i'll be fine soon !
and forgive this post, i just wanna vent all my anger and
pour my sorrows t the keyboard that wont feel the pain. LOL

just came back from work. wasnt a bad day thou i dint sleep well.
went baby's place last night t stay over thou he's not ard. LOL
slept with his sister after we had like kimchi maggie for dinner :D
jiejie added like 12 fishballs vegetables egg prawns !!!
was really quite an amount for the both of us. HAHA !
gonna gain another kilo and more more MMOOORRREEEE if i continues
and i dont know what t blog anymore
i realised, people leaves but memories stays
whenever i see those friends around me having new bfs/gfs etc,
be it close/ hi bye/ drifted apart etc .....
i wonder , am i the only one that's looking back ?
this feeling just came throu my mind.
im happy thou and i dont know what and why im writing -.-"
okay , BYE !

im cropped at home . so bored
save me someone .
talking with nana on the phone (:
shes really a cute babey luh
always a good listener
making me so warm and loved
just by hearing her voice , makes me feels like wonder women :D
okay . im talking nonsense again .
gonna called wing !
shes a fucker ! i think shes really gonna rot at bf place all the way
omfg . im so sad
im gonna meet nana later . i guess
gonna start work tmr
need find another part time job
i wanna save like enough money t help baby re-decorate his room
haha . im so excited
i hope things work out well
not forgetting puay's advice
i must still protect myself
shes always there t lend me a helping hand .
but whatever she says always so accurate luh
like for the past incident
she told me not t be so happy cos i might not know if history repeats
but then shes right
okay . i dont know what im writing now
but i know im superb hungry
and im fainting any moment
and im glad that you called last night puay !
still , im having mucha loves for you deep down
i missed baby like so much
cos all the others gf are ALWAYS bf-ing
i dont know whats so nice bout that
and im craving for tom-yam noodles ltr !
so nana , come back like NOW ~ !
omfg . i going t do the chores
on my living room light
cos its so dark luh !
and have a take-my-own-sweet-time shower !! (:
sighs . i miss my lil ones
shannon and meimei like quite alot suddenly

how shannon call me fei de , lie down on my fatty legs and watch tv together

and meimei slap my face and pulls my hair force a sweet into my mouth
when im sleeping
how sweet right ?!

Potential Break Up Song - Aly & A.j.

It took too long
It took too long
It took to long for you to call back
And normally I would just forget that
Except for the fact it was my birthday
My stupid birthday

I played along
I played along
I played along it rolled right off my back
But obviously my armor was cracked
What kind of boyfriend would forget that?
Who would forget that?

The type of guy who doesn't see
What he has until she leaves
Don't let me go
Cuz without me, you know you're lost
Wise up now or pay the cost
Soon you will know

You're not livin' till you're livin'
Livin' with me
You're not winnin' till you're winnin'
Winnin' me
You're not gettin' till you're gettin'
Gettin' to me
You're not livin' till you're livin'
Livin' for me

This is the potential breakup song
Our album needs just one
Oh baby please
Please tell me

We got along
We got along
We got along until you did that
Now all I want is just my stuff back
Do you get that?
Let me repeat that
I want my stuff back

You can send it in a box
I don't care just drop it off
I won't be home
Cuz without me, you know you're lost
Minus you I'm better off
Soon you will know

You're not livin' till you're livin'
Livin' with me
You're not winnin' till you're winnin'
Wi-i-i-inin' me
You're not gettin' till you're gettin'
Gettin' to me
You're not livin' till you're livin'
Livin' for me

You can try, you can try
You know I know it'd be a lie
Without me you're gonna die
So you better think clearly, clearly
Before you nearly, nearly
Mess up the situation that your gonna miss dearly, dearly
C'mon

You're not livin' till you're livin'
Livin' with me
You're not winnin' till you're winnin'
Wi-i-i-inin' me
You're not gettin' till you're gettin'
Gettin' to me
You're not livin' till you're livin'
Livin' for me

This is the potential breakup song
Our album needs just one
Oh baby please
Please tell me

This is the potential make up song
Please just admit you're wrong
Which will it be?
Which will it be?


PS :
where do break ups comes from ?
both parties at fault
or one dont compromises?
search me ?.....

im suffering from terrible hangover , i think
im surfing for nice photos t change my blogskin
im lying on my bed like a log
im gonna start working at grandpa's office on the 15th
im hungry
im bored
im lazy t start editing my new blogskin and get pictures arrange nicely
im speaking broken english -.-
im supposed t play bball today with the girls but no one's picking up calls
im cropped at home
im missing baby
im reading his love letters
im going t bathe
im gonna do my lil cold mask
im gonna take my clothes t the toilet
im going t call wing and piss her off
im gonna check lottery now
im missing ALL THE GIRLS !
im still bored
im turning lunatic
im still im-ing (:
im superb uber lame
im cold by the rebound of my own lame-ing
im going off .
and what's with all the IM ??!!!!
omfg , STELLAAA !!!!

i think i nearly died because of this . omfg
i sweared , it tastes real yummy but i cant hold this well
and then i gotta myself real drunk
and i think i still rem that i vomited like eerrkk !!
and yucks .
still cropped at francis's place
waiting for ah fu t come and pick me up
im so bored luh !
i think im gonna disturb his lil cousins (:
play bomberman together ! lol
im sound so .....

HAPPY 19th FRANCIS !!! (:
im cropped at francis's place with some others
waiting so badly for the dinner t come
its been long since i had steamboat ! haha
hurry + hurray !!
came across this picture at yahoo and it really did caught my attention
thou it seems winter , but the LOVE seems so unaffected
recieved babey's letter . omfg
im like freaking happy and i really did appreciate his effort
he knew i was angry with him. cos of the past recent letters that he wrote
i shouldnt had be so .....
okay .
ah gang and jeffery is surrounding me now !!!
BYE !

i had a bad dream
how sad .
im like really bored and i feel like munching so much
but there's nothing i could munch at home
weather's like fcuking cold outside
POURS !
i think im gonna meet gfs later
i awaiting for baby's letter
omfg . that long . im running outta patience
im in a pathetic state right now
and i brought all these shitty things and problems t myself
so , serve me right uh !
i simply deserve all this
yay ! im so happy that i caused this whole lotta bloody big shit for myself
(:
thank you MYSELF .
wing cant use msn t chat
so the both of us are chatting via emails .
how retarded uh ; lol
and shes like a real tortoise luh .
all her replies like freaking slow
i tried t play maple t kill time but it doesnt helps
oh freak !!!!!
life's really a slut for me right now .
BYE.

a boring night , i suppose
back from thailand and i think i need money like real badly
whole body is aching like fcuk
and my head is spinning like real merry-go-round
i just dont feel good
met up with gfs like 2 hrs ago
(: felt so happy t see them
bitches , thanks for always assuring me with all your love
and now , i miss baby like fuck !
like so many more months
omfg . how i wish i can really wake up in your arms
im emo-ing like real fcuk
still , i wanna thanks jian for the call that day
it really make me felt like a million times better
thanks for assuring me and making me feel perfectly better
:D i really do appreciate
as for the rest
i think there isnt any misunderstanding
just have t understnad the fact that everyone has
his/her life t move and carry on with .
nothings wrong ! i hope so .
can someone lend me a big big shoulder t lean on
a big big hand t hold onto
a big fat arm t cling onto
a solid pair of legs t lie onto ?????
i think im having a kinda slight emo right now !
omfg . COME BACK BABY ! will you ?
IMU my big boy .

those who don't live alone can't know
how silence inspires fear,
how one talks to oneself
and rushes from mirror to mirror
in search of a living soul;
they can't understand.

grrr ! bitches ! i have safely reached thailand
and ah pong's phone is so darn lousy
cant recieve and call
and i miss all of you all like sooooo fcuking much !
i miss singapore !
sitting down at the guest house with ah pong like using the wireless
omfg . like only 20 minutes
okay . i gotta run !!!
ah pong's turn
I MISS MY girlfriends like wtf and mom dad ah fu shuan !!!
ok bye !