i shall and should really share ashton's pictures already. Yuppie ! fever subsided but rashes all over body now, some say allergy some say its common t have rashes outbreak after fever. hmmmmm ~ ok.

u're still at your lovely 21! cherish it!! once its gone it will b gone! A lovely long-lost friend just say this t me. Somehow or rather, it really seems pathetic when someone living so apart from you still cares about you and someone so near never seems t even bother. Its also glad that at least there's still people who's around making me feel less pathetic & its pretty contradicting here. Sighs, im just toooooo bored for anything and can the rain stop pouring??? its making me drownsy -.-''

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T MYSELF ! :) i seriously hope it will be a better year for me. no special wish anymore, just hoping that my dear lil son will grow well and healthy & i think thats what make a mom, everything now is diverted t lil precious.
& ashton's fever subsided, i hope it will cont this way. He's now growing his 3,4,5 upper tooth tgt. Omg he have a total of 5 teeth, infant caregivers say that its a bit toooo fast for him, as he got he both lower tooth when he was almost 5 months, and now just 7 months going t have 55555555555555555 !!!! The wonder he's been rather cranky and fever just doesnt wanna shoooooooo away from him. Thank god, it was better ytd, maybe because my birthday. hahaha lol !

The hurt you brought t me this time is really unbearable, im not sure if i can live with you from now?! How can you be so heartless and selfish t only think for yourself when you took away something i cherish so mucha & what did you do with that? I still cant accept the fact till now, Im really worn out, by all those everything that's happening. I cant please everybody and im trying really hard thou. I feel so heavy, burden and pathetic. Who should i turn t? Piles and piles of problems came searching for me, i cant think of anything now. My brain's really trying very hard t push me throu all these hard times, but over and over again, you made my heart pronounced dead with all these impact you created for me. You nver realised how mucha you made me look like a fool, idiotic when i was so dumb t believe you. Oh pls, destroy my soul but not my pride
:( infant care just called and informed that ashton's running a fever, sighs. I think im giving way real soon. I dont wish for good things everytime, but why always things happen that is worrying, disappointing and i have t really take a deep breathe, swallow my pride and hush myself " stella you will be fine, stand strong! " This routine is making me really sick.

sent ashton t infant as early as every morning. so tired. slept less than 10 hours for the past 2 days. This time round not becos of ashton but its becos of myself cos im toooo into my korean drama. I like the storyline, its much diff from those love stories that we see almost in every one. This features betrayal due t legacy and inheritance. Abandon etc, its just very nice thou.lol, im so eager t watch poker king right away and idk why. HAHAHA, just like and enjoys t watch this kinda gambling show somemore got louis koo. ok, LAME excuse. Argh, pretty bored but if jiejie dont wanna go then i shall cont watching my drama series. Sometimes, i just feel and think why life has t be so contradicting? i know and understand that not all things goes your way but it always seems like the fact is you have t really be strong, not just strong but is really in order t survive. & idk why i got so agitated and started blamed the one who invented money in the world, but on the other hand there's so mucha t thanks him. Many tried so hard pulling throu hard times and some have so much but dont knows how t treasure, dont understands what's precious and what's lost might nvr come back. Aiya, idk why im tryna explain this ridiculous topic but the feeling of watching the korean drama just lead me here & of cos some matters which makes me feel this way too. Isnt any way t survive w/o money. Sighs, im so worried for yall. Pls no matter what you must not do anything silly, live goes on and after those F. hard times, the rain will still shine. I love yall more than anything. Stand strong, nothing is easy in life as this will allow people t learn and grow cos humans have this F bad habit t take easy things for granted. OK, dear just went prawning which means i will have nice prawns later :) 21st birthday is coming but why imma feeling soooooooooo down ? yawns.