its so late at night but i cant sleep, prolly because im tooo used t reverse sleeping timing from love. mom bought us butter crabs just now, and its real up! its the first time that im having it and its real heavenly. sighs, time pass sooo quickly, ashton's turning 8weeks on the 6th. haha, then im gonna bring him for his 6 in 1 injection. he's really funny, i think while he was sleeping just now (just a few mins ago) his tummy wasnt really feeling well or ???? idk. but he make alot of eeee ahhhh errhhww noises then PPPPOOOOO!!! lol, he farted then the noise(es) stopped. lol. love says that he's so chubby. i think he already exceed 5kg now. & when i carry and feed him his formula, my whole hand cramp like F. sometimes when he's angry, hahahahahah. ashton likes t be shaked all the time. When he just got back from thomson, we prepared yao lan for him, cos mama says that baby sleep yao lan head very up! buden ashton dont want, you place him inside he scream until can deaf. then we bought play-pen for him. sleep 3 weeks dont wanna again -.-' now keep inside store room (keep for nice-.-) now he wanna yao lan. then love and dad fixed the whole thing again. cos atomatic one! aiyoyo. i cant wait for him t grow.

omfg, my head's spinning like real F and my gastric problems are killing me. i just feel like lying there a straight XXXXXX hours. ashton just cried for milk, and my toes numbed like F again cos of my incorrect sleeping posture. oh geez, RC in fb cannot be logged as its undergoing maintence. very sad, im finished with boys over flowers and i dread t cont with another korean drama which im halfway of as my head sucks like atomic bomb buden i cant sleep. how very sad :( went down t check if there's any infant care but its only like 18months. thats even :((((( cos i have t start looking for ashton's nanny for half a day as there wouldnt be anyone at home. i will if i can split myself into 2 -.- im blogging soooo boring-ly w/o any tone, so mono. lol

lil ashton is breathing sooo loudly, i think love gotta help me clean his lil nose. haha, he just made a erwhhhhh sound so loud, sometimes in the middle of the night, he can suddenly scream sooo loudly. haha, funny precious. im waiting for wing t come over then i might prolly head t clinic t collect my cheque ! hehehe.
another week to 2 months old :D

im feeling terribly unwell, my tummy's upset and the lower gum of mine is swollen due t me having toooo many wisdom t grow wisdom tooth. omfg, its making feel feverish and weak. whines~

just gotta home bout an hour with best. too bad i only can stay for 2 hours cos i needa rush back t keep my lil baby accompanied. i think i sang tooo hard and im feeling sore down at my throat, wtf i think cos i used toooo mucha of my energy t vent those fustrations over the last 10 months into the mike, poor thing. im feeling sooo uber sleepy now and i wanna hit t my bed right now, i missed the old times soooo badly, arghhhh !! mama ~

i had gotten a bite by idk what at my lil toe. its sooo painful, numb and itch. WTF ! feeling really fustrated. &@%^#%@*(!@ i cant log into RC on fb. love is soooo dumb t log out after he had sucessfully log in. wth, and he explain becos he dont know how t open 2 explorers and log us in tgt. im like -.-'' you dont know how t ask uh ? kao. anyway, im gonna meet nana and wing ltr t PW in safra. its been soooo darn long that i enjoy screaming into the microphone. maybe its time i can let down some of my hair and love knowing that im going out, he like buay song and wanna go out also. i just cant find the right words t picture things correctly, but its kinda getting on my nerves & im feeling what i shouldnt be feeling. and plus, i got scolded cos outta sudden love came back early from work, and he refused t bring his keys idk of what the F reason, then knock the door but i dint hear at all. HELLO, i stayed up all night t nurse ashton while you are sleeping like one log and now when i wanna rest, you go out. wth, very tiring and nvr hear you knock the door becos im tooooo tired la, not my fault when you have keys but dont wanna bring. oh geeez !

jiejie had just left for bangkok, :( whines cos its soooooo soooo mucha that i wanna tag alone. doing those crazy spending and eating. love agrees totally. HOLIDAYS ARE REAL HOT !! i cant sleep, thats very sad, cos i slept for toooo long just now. no one's gonna help me keep a lookout on ashton when i wanna bath or slack at night. gosh! 7 whole darn long days. sighs. xiaoying joked that she wanna keep me in her luggage and asked me to wrap myself with many many cash, so during checking i can buy em with my money. lol, i replied CANNOT LA, thats human trafficking. lol, i know its not funny. i feel so arghhhh when jiejie bidded goodbye. F*** !

There are really many things that i wanna rant about in this entry of mine, having many thous and emotions inside of me. My stupid com broke down last night and i wasnt able to complain what i felt, the words formed automatically inside my brain
maybe cos i was upset and fustrated ytd. lol, but now when i wanna recap on what was i to say ? I FORGOT! wtf. thinking about it, i really realised how much i couldnt act like last time. i couldnt dash outta the house when im feeling unhappy, i couldnt act so recklessly like the past. Its really different for now, whenever i turn to look at ashton its just soooo mucha i wanna give him, so mucha i wanna be with him. I think thats how it explains "mommy is the best human being brought t earth" sighs, its still soooo much i need to learn, soooo much i need to endure.
bright side, i needa look !!! i know that quarrels are inevitable, its a procedure that we have to go throu tgt. everything's changed! even the quarrels doesnt corresponds. To conclude, i just feel so not stella, and its a lil bothering, maybe cos i yet to adapt all as a whole. lol


多少次我忍住胸口的泪水
只是为了告诉我自己
我不在乎 :(

蔡依林-妥协


你总爱编织谎言我负责配合表演
所有改变只为了进入你的世界
这情节重复了一百遍
才发现是你的心太野
你划定楚河汉界我不能轻易犯规
所有时间都是先给了你优先权
不自觉爱到不敢冒险
成了你的傀儡一年两年
才看见我有多狼狈
爱到妥协到头来还是无解
绑着你不让你飞
历史不断重演我好累
爱到妥协也无法将故事再重写
你已下最后通牒
我躲在我的世界
你只是害怕一个人睡
我不想再为你掉泪
我了解不会变不再徘徊
开始自己的明天

lil boy is really cute, growing so fast and everyone says the chin like photocopied of mine. He's rrrreally greedy and sometimes when he already is encountering regurgitation, he can still cry for milk so badly. Once the milk is inserted into his small lil mouth, he sucked like........... haha, its really cute. Ashton's check-up is good, haha my mind is at ease ! im really very :D for everything. Its just soo much that i love him. & everyone commented that his as greedy as his mama -.-'' love says his pig leg like me _l_ baby where got pig leg one ???? stupid ! roll eyes, lol. & this small darling fart soooo loud one la, he fart people thought its me cos im carrying him ! -.-'' dots, cannot relax one make me ma-lu cos ppl ask me dont kay kay but its really not me la. feel like sucking out all the wind from his lil tummy. hahahahha

hahaha, just finished my confinement :D lil precious had already celebrated his first month. No pics at the moment as i forgot t bring the memory card. lol. Many things t share and im feeling very excited being a mother of someone. Its really different cos you will only get t sleep less than 8 hrs a day, you have t ensure the surroundings being really clean, you have t double check whether the pampers and milk powder is sufficient for the day/week ? you have t go ard asking and comparing the prices. lol sound so aunty :D anyway, i learnt that from aunty ong :x lol
taking care of baby is really aint easy at all, it really tests your patience and i can really encounter mental stress as when it reaches bedtime, when everyone at home sleeps and snores so soundly and i being the only one awake trying very hard t hoax the baby t bed. When ashton sleeps, its really a bonus for me, cos i can rest for like 2hrs before his next milk time, but when he doesnt, its hell. Sometimes, i do admit i get very fustrated :( but whenever i see him looking at me, i realised how much its worth it. He always plays with his tongue and make the sucking milk sound when his soundly asleep. lol , greedy like me :D very proud !!!! baby is really cute when he talks t ashton, he always use the tone which i nvr ever heard him talking before. everything is really different as compared t before, thou there's still a long and tough road, im happy that im given such precious ones.


ps: a great thanks t those that came visiting me and the gifts :D yall are equally great :DDDD LOVE!